It was on a Friday night when I had discovered that Devo had gone nuts. He never did tell me who provoked him to act this way. Hell, to tell you the truth he didn’t say shit. He only reacted by trying to stab me with a fucking hunting knife.
“I’m calling the fucking cops you jackass!” I yelled while sprinting and dodging through his house.
He didn’t give a shit. His relentless attempts to stab me were beginning to tire me out. I was already drunk from the Coors Light we had stoled about three days ago.
Fuck, I thought. While I was running I felt like puking but I couldn’t stop and he had somehow bolted the doors shut so it was hard to find a way out.
I ran into the ketchen and took some food out of the fridge.
Maybe this will work. I started throwing leftover pizza which ended up hitting his face. That didn’t work. Then a threw the entire jar of pickles at him. The full jar popped him in the head but he only bent down for a few seconds and then continued his urge to hurt me.
How the fuck did this happen?
One moment he was talking about the fucking tree gnomes and then the next he wanted to cut my throat. I only knew one thing… beat the shit out of him before he kills me. I spotted his mom’s pots and pans in the sink. I took the most solid one I could find and just as he was about to take another swipe at me I bashed him in the face hard. As soon as he hit the ground I kicked the knife out of his hand and hit him again and again and again. Now I could hear him groaning in pain.
“Alright Dev,” I said. “You leave me no choice but to stick your ass in the fucking closset. Do you want that?”
“No!” he yelled as the knocked me down to the floor. He then tried to grab the knife from me hand.
“You fucking demon!” he yelled. “You’re gonna die bitch!”
What the fuck was he talking about?
“You fucking demon!”
So I quickly punched him in the chest. It knocked the wind out of him so he collapsed taking huge gasps of breath.
“Okay, stay back motherfucker!” I said. “I warned you!”
I got him by his left leg and dragged him into the living room. The closet was near. I picked him up and pushed him inside, slammed the door shut and locked it very quickly. Before I knew it Devo had caught his breath and began banging on the door like a maniac.
“Let me out devil!” he yelled in a slur. “Why do you have to be so fucking evil!”
“Devo shut the hell up.”
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!” he screamed. “Evil! You have to die! ”
I had to wait for about four hours so he could let me out. When He snapped out of his horrific carpet ride he told me he didn’t remember shit.