come join me

i lay here, thinking about this life. i stare into the darkness which seems to pull me in. just like it did a year ago when it all started… ive tried before, and it never worked… no one will care, i think as i reach my weak arm over to my dresser drawer and pull out my razor, the only one who knows the truth…

make me happy, i plea as i drag her blade of releif over my arm… but no relief is coming this time, i push down, right as i pas over the vein. here comes the pleasure i think as i feel that familar pain that makes me feel better… “ahh” i sigh as i lay back on my bed in the darkness yet again, not even the shimmer of my blade. i stretch my arm out over my comforter, where i let all my blood given out to take the pain away, the name speaks its use, it does comfort me. but this time the bleeding does not stop… well, i think, ive finally done it this time, without even trying. i smile as i fall into a sleep where only my faint heartbeat is heard… it grows quieter as i fall more and more into a peaceful dreamlike state…….

i awake in a place ive never seen before, the ground is black, the sky in grey, the trees have to leaves and are bare. the sun looks like the moon and it is dark and dreary. yes i know this place, this is where my reoccuring dreams took place. i feel so at home. i go and sit under a bare dark tree and lean against it, i feel the chill of the state of the planet run through me…. im finally at home, i think. i fall asleep leaning on this tree in this place ive never been to before but feel so at home in….

this time i wake up and there is someone sleeping next to me. this is the one person i have desired but never got. i realize this isnt really her, but a part of her, a part i took with me when i died, yes i have come to the conclusion i have died. i look over her, so peaceful in this slumber, she must me still alive and i hope she is happy in her life still, i look past and see a red rose, blooming out of black spoil, with a black stem, so beautiful. i lay back and relax, i am at peace finally. im with the person i love, surely its only a part of her, for now, but i am willing to wait until she comes and joins me.

By xsilentXscreamsx

i am a very boring person, trust me i would know im around myself all the time, but anyhoo... im 14, i hate my life, but what else is new? i get labeled as punk/gothic, mainly gothic, i hate labels because they are stupid and just another way to stereotype people, i live in Bellingham, WA (which you've probably never heard of) and if anyone cares, i am bi, and if you're homophobic you're stupid... dont get me started on that subject... i want to die... i dont care if people say they care, they dont show it, i dont care if people dont care, because in any case thats all i expect of them, someday ill make it, and ill go by as peacefully as i came, no one on here will notice, and i dont expect you to care.