ConfigurEd fatE

the drumming in my head
its burning me
the beating in my chest
its racing me

i love myself i hate myself i love myself i give up
constant conquest towards my head
chasing the dreams and choking accomplishment
its familiarity as vague as reasoning behind poetry
its gone now and i cant afford to hurt myself
not again
i hate myself i hate you i love myself to spite you
who am i?
what was it that i once was?
the world formulates idealistic possibilities and then reaches around and gives up realist solution
im tired of waiting for my skin to stop burning
im tired of hating myself for my stupidity
im tired of this voyeuristic outlook on life
im tired of being tired
and i cant do a fucking thing except all of the nonsense i had appauled…
im tasting my sight as the walls come towards my rage
the smell as i run a finger across your skull
rampaging through my veins as i take you into me
disecting your ambition with my tongue, fucking scalpal
im hating your way of life, your dumb fucking smile
im hating your way of belief, showing a grin towards the future
im tired of your fucking hatred towards me
and im closing down my skin
shutting away as i suture my skin closed
reaching back and opening the door as we disect our reasoning
stepping forwards as i turn around to retreat,
i just want to suture your fucking mouth shut
sulfuric staples to close your beautiful eyes
if i cant see your gaze i cant be afraid
attaching your hands to eachother, breaking those slim
knees until the crack is heard in my pores
and i will leave you all to your lonesome as i choke down the newest pill of sedative medicative passion
leaving my virgin mary all to her lonesome
stitched up and hating because i love to hate myself for being so fucking tired….
dont stop to pray
contradict yourself
as i eat my skull…

By bLiNDmaGg0T

Not much to tell I'm afraid. I am 18, live in Chicago, and am confusing. I skate, write poetry, love deep conversation, like metal music, and have Gothic ethical standpoints. Anything else, just IM me, I guess...