damn emotions

GRRRRRRR ugh i hate emotions… i dont get the feeling of love, it makes you happy, yet other times it just makes you want to go off and die, how can ONE PERSON have this control over your feelings and NOT EVEN KNOW IT…

at least thats how it is for me, god if only they knew, and didnt already start going out with the one other person i like and thought i might’ve had a chance with for once in the past 3 years… but no just when i think everythings gonna be okay, just like my friends always say, the person i love but am too much of a wuss to tell goes and starts to like the other person i like. out of the 5 people that person likes they had to choose the one i do… but oh well people cant control who they like, because the person i love would never guess that i do, but i guess its just because i am screwed up and they are probably the only person who cares about me. but that is old news… stuck in my head, i cant get over it… ive gotten used to them going out but when i think of it, the emotions get stirred up again, i still like/love them both… and they dont even know, they dont even know what they do to me.

By xsilentXscreamsx

i am a very boring person, trust me i would know im around myself all the time, but anyhoo... im 14, i hate my life, but what else is new? i get labeled as punk/gothic, mainly gothic, i hate labels because they are stupid and just another way to stereotype people, i live in Bellingham, WA (which you've probably never heard of) and if anyone cares, i am bi, and if you're homophobic you're stupid... dont get me started on that subject... i want to die... i dont care if people say they care, they dont show it, i dont care if people dont care, because in any case thats all i expect of them, someday ill make it, and ill go by as peacefully as i came, no one on here will notice, and i dont expect you to care.


  1. Finally someone on this damned planet shares similsr feelings to mine!!! This has happened to me quite recently…with two girls…GODDAMN THAT FEELING IS NIGHTMARISHLY PAINFUL!!!!!

  2. Painful love.
    I’ve experienced that too often of late, followed by depression and a longing and want and need to do something but I can’t because it’s too late and I find they’re already attached to someone else because I’ve been too scared to ask in the first place. And I’ve come to be that way because when I have asked in the past I’ve been rejected badly and too often as I find the other isn’t interested in any way.

    I can’t find the control either. I just get so high on the feeling that I can’t even bring myself down to earth sometimes, I can’t think straight anymore. And it’s just so crushing when things don’t work out and it suddenly feels so lonely and empty and cold, and I don’t want to know anyone anymore and just go off and hide away. Until next time.

    It’d be great if there were a nice little on/off switch for some relief. I haven’t found it yet either…

  3. Gah. I just don’t get people some times.

    Yes, love is one of the more confusing things you must deal with but it’s a way of life.

    All I can say is if you were meant to be then that person will always be there in your life and fate will keep it together.
    Just have hope.

  4. You are wrong Tox. You cannot rely on fate….I know that all too well. I am not sayin that I do not believe in fate. No no,I am not saying that at all. When you are born destiny has already drawn a map of your life. It is all pre-decided what paths you will follow…what choices you will make…who you will become…who you will love and hate….It is all laid out for you from the beginning. If you just let fate carry away you will find nothing but the emptiness of the world…that is why,if you want something,you must wrestle with destiny to shape your own path,to draw up a map with the paths of your choosing. But pushing against fate isn’t as easy as it may sound. Destiny is like a river and we are pebbles. Should a pebble fall into the river…the current simply courses over it as if it were never there to begin with. So even if you do change a piece of your already written life story…it will be insignificant unless you persist in it. A pebble cannot do much to the course of a river. To change the course of that river you must become a boulder…Do I make any sense at all?

  5. Me?WRONG?!
    Yeah, I’m wrong most of the time but people agree with me anyway. I find it humorous.

    I am wrong. You elaborated on it and gave a better view of it. It makes perfect sense to me.

    I really never thought of it that way, thanks Damned.

    I’m kinda tired of calling you Damned, could you give me a name..or IM me sometime. This is getting on my nerves.

  6. Well,what can i say its happened to me too except the guy that i like happens to be bi sexual and he went out with another guy that i liked.SO tell me what do i do.Next time i see them together do you reckon i should go over to them and ask them for a threesome (coz i know they’ll do that)
    Plz ppl this really is happening to me wot do i do.

    P.S how do you put your own thingy on here so everyone can comment on your passage or sumpthin’

  7. Oops… I accidentally pressed enter..

    Anyway…when you get onto the darkness page, there will be a list of options on the right side of the page…
    I think the second selection says submit…so click on that. And do your stuff.

  8. Thanks Intoxication, I’ll try that then,be expecting me to rant on about sumpthing random,coz thats wot im like.

  9. Intox get on AIM and we will talk but I have not been on lately cuz I was grounded. But get on line now.

  10. Damnedone intox hasnt got a computer anymore i dont think so anyways he left a post saying goodbye.

  11. Ugh. For the last time, Tox is not a he.

    She has been on but she hasn’t been commenting since there has been nothing interesting or intelligent to comment upon. People are getting dumber by the minute. Anyway, surprisingly I still have my computer. For some reason it has not been taken.

    Not a he.


    By the way, I didn’t want to bother signing out of my brothers name. Which is why it says Omnistrife1. Laters.

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