DARKNESS:::Just Another Suicide:::

For almost 8 months they were together. The perfect couple… From the moment they met, she knew they were meant to be together. She thought she knew it was all meant to be. He sent her flowers, bought her candy, and always told her how much he loved her. They layed on the grass together, looking up at the stars. Telling each other everything, and holding each other tight in their arms. Loving each other more and more. Sharing each others blood… In her mind, they were one. But something happened along the way… All of the sudden, she just changed. She doesn’t care about anything anymore. And he’s busy doing other things. She feels forgotten. She feels so used. She wishes things were the way they used to be. She can’t take this much longer. He never calls anymore… he never says those 3 words. The relationship has gone down the drain. And her soulmate is lost and never to be found again. She spends her nights crying, and thinking of her lost lovers sweet face. Whatever happened… Why couldn’t she save it? In her mind, it was all her fault. She hasn’t heard a word from him. Apparently his business with her is through. But she can’t get over it. She gave her heart to him, and he’s gone and away with it. She’s been hurting for too long. She’s been wishing on shit for way too long. She thought it was just a matter of time before everything was okay again. She thought that he would come back. One day at school, he asked her if they could be friends again. Start from the beginning, and work their way up again. She said okay. She’s still not over him. She still bleeds for him. But he doesn’t know she still cares… He thinks she’s alright. Never once did he expect all of this… She doesn’t want to be friends. She wants to have it all back. But he doesn’t even see her that way anymore. The fire blew out a long time ago. Just what she needs. Another problem. She sits all alone, shut up in her cold lonley house… Her parents never bother coming home. They hate seeing they’re little fuck up. That fuck up used to be their little girl. Everynight is the same old thing. She’s always writing those poems… Always thinking of her sweet suicide. Dreaming about how she wants do die. She wakes up, crying in pain. Fuck… It was just another dream again. Staring at her razor. Another cut, each one getting deeper. She hears the phone ring, but doesn’t bother to answer it. A message is left on the machine. It was him. Asking where she was today. Seeing if she was alright. “He’s such a fucking liar!!!” she shouts out at the walls. A knock at the door. “Oh shit…” she thinks to herself. “Hello… Amanda? Are you there? I Know you are… Open up.” he says to her. “Go away!!!” she yells at him “I can’t talk right now… I’m counting pills again. Leave me alone!” He’s pacing now. He opens the door and walks in, looking for her. She’s locked in her bathroom again. “Amanda… what are you hiding from…” he asks her. “I’m hiding from those voices… those shadows… But why the fuck do you care!!!! You’re here to push me over!! You want me to do it don’t you!!!!!” she screams at the top of her lungs. “No no no, Amanda. I don’t want you to do it. I’m here to save you.” he says, speaking in a calm voice. “FUCKING LIAR!!!!!” she yells at the top of her lungs. “You’re just like them… You always lied to me. You gave me all those false hopes. You let me live this fucking lie!!!!!!!! I loved you… I wanted to be with you forever. But you fucking lied to me!!!!” she says to him, making more cuts on her arms. “That isn’t true! I wanted to give you everything… I’m willing to do everything for you!!! God you’re so fucked up!!!!” he yells back at her. “Damn fucking right! Now you won’t have to mess with my shit anymore!!” she says, taking in a deep breath. She grabs the glass and fills it with water from the bathroom sink. “Amanda… what are you doing??” he asks, his back facing the bathroom door. She doesn’t answer. She dumps out the bag full of all those pills shes been collecting. She doesnt know where they came from, nor what they contain. All she knows is that theyre going to get her the ticket to where she wants to go. Where she’ll be free again. She finishes taking them all, then picks up her razor blade and takes a seat in the bathtub. “Do you know what this is really about?” she asks, out of the blue. “No I don’t… All I know is that you have a really big problem. And I want to help you, Amanda. I really do.” “Don’t fucking lie to me… I’m not stupid anymore like I used to be. This is all your fault. You fucked me up… You broke my heart. And all I ever did was love you. See what love does to a person? It leads them to ending their life. Tell me, what happened? Did you find someone else? Oh yeah, I forgot. I wrote you a letter. Oh, yeah, if you see my parents around somewhere, tell them theres a body in their bathtub… Okay?” she says to him. He’s crying now. “Manda… please don’t do this… I love you… I swear I do… I dont want you to do this… I couldn’t live without you.” She slides the note under the door. He keeps trying to talk her out of it… He’s banging on the door. Crying out to her, screaming at the top of his lungs. Confessing his love for her. She doesn’t listen, she’s blocking out all sounds. “I loved you, Joe. Maybe when I’m gone, you’ll realise how much you loved me… And you’ll realise the mistake you made. I loved you…… I loved you……. And always will” And with that she slices at her wrists again and again. Making the cuts as deep as ever. In her head, all she sees is his picture, and the memories of him and her. “Goodbye, my love.” Finally, he breaks down the door, only to find her already gone. Her clothes soaked in all the blood. He picks her up, and holds her lifeless body in his arms…And says these words as he begins to cry. “I loved you too, baby…I loved you too.” He took the razor from her hand, and also slit his wrists his wrists. “Now we can be together, my love. Forever.”

June 2003

**i know the way i wrote this wasn’t really all that good, i mean with the sentences and all…they’re incomplete, but yeah. sorry.**

By DeathAwaitsMe

I'm 15 years old, I live in Amarillo, Texas. I'm a lesbian. I have no friends, and I love to write.