I just feel like writing, because I’m tired and fed up with everything….I can’t write in a journal because no matter where I place it, it is found by everyone in this old house. I think I’m mainly fed up with life, not that I’m going to end it because that would be quite selfish, but just society is I think the main reason for everything terrible in my life. Every day I get put down because of the way I dress, I’ve been told many time from immature males that I should kill myself because I’m just too ugly to live, although, I don’t think I’m ugly at all (and no, I am not at all concieted!), I get glares from everyone, even after I smile nicely to those I despise. My family, they treat me like I’m not wanted, I’m not accepted. I have no love in my life, I just feel as though, without love, what is the purpose of living?? I’ve had so many lessons, I’ve been hurt, abused, used and so on, and every male I meet, treats me the same as the one’s before. Maybe it’s my fault, I don’t know. Lately I’ve been very picky on who I spend my time with, which guy I date, but nothing lasts anymore. I always seem to go wrong somewhere, and I don’t even know what I said or did. Is there a great guy out there? Is anyone ever going to accept me for who I am? I wish there was!!!!


  1. nothing ever makes sense life is just fuked u find sumone u would give ur life for and they turn out to be the totall oppsite to what u think they r and they rip ur heart out and walk all over it i know how u feel

  2. It gets better. In the meantime, it sounds like you need to find out a way to soend more time with people of your own ilk. Darksites is great, but real life is better than virtual reality. Then again, if you live in a really conservative and homogeneous area, Darksites might be the easiest way to meet other gothic/eccentric types. *hugs*

  3. My friend, life is never easy. I’ve been where you are right now, and now only have I thought about my own death, but I have been forced to listen to a close friend of mine take her life on the phone with me. I’ve known the pain of being outcasted for my opinions, beliefs, looks, and generally anything else a person could possibly be outcasted for.
    But I made it through..and I have found not only a few true and worthy friends who honestly love and care for me as I am, with complete acceptance…but I have found my soulmate as well. I have found my place in life..and I no longer have the fear or pain. I am no longer the outcast.
    And my friend…if I can find my place, and myself..then you can as well. Have faith.

  4. me too……the first love of my life turned out to be an ass who was pregidous and judged me all the time. shortly after i broke up with him i heard from a friend of mine that he said i was fucked up because i had recently turned goth. he called me a mistake, ugly any insult that he could think of yet he told me he still wanted to be ‘friends’. i hate jerks like that who put down people who are different just to make themselves feel more important. i felt like wringing(sp?) his neck, that fucking bastard. it’s hard to find love because when you look for it you never seem to get exactly want. you have to let the love find you and just survive in the time being.

  5. I myself now am the jerk “she” is in love with. It is very odd to have the shoe on the oher foot. At least I see it for what it is. But I have found that from one relationship to the next the roles get reversed though the situations vary. The most I can do is to be honest and forthright and remember how I felt…

  6. I love you
    You are my most bestest friend šŸ™‚

    Jaded Innocents

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