Description of me

Greetings, I am Ravyn. I am not your normal teenage girl. (Well maybe I’m normal at this website. . .) I dress “differently” than other people; to be more specific I haven’t worn color in two years.

I have a reserved personality. I don’t like to talk to people and usually flash them evil glares under my sunglasses. I loathe the sun, and love the night. And I have an odd fascination with necks and blood (**evil smirk**). . .
I am disgusted at the stupidity of America’s youth, and how they are so cruel these days. I do fairly well in school, with a 3.5 GPA. I prefer to be quiet, rather than outspoken. I am practically a ghost at my school. Most people only know me as “the girl with the trench coat”, and know nothing more about me (they probably don’t care to either).
(Although I’m on medication) I have Severe Depressive Disorder and an Anxiety Disorder. I usually have suicide on my mind, and I frequently cut and burn my arms. Death, destruction, pain, torture, and loneliness are my only friends.
I enjoy anything to do with Vampires or the Medieval Era. I like to get away from my house, but with no friends my destinations are limited. Reading, writing, and drama are things I’m good at. And I’ve picked up a knack on how to hide my feelings, thoughts, problems, and personality.
I pretend I don’t care what people think of me, but inside I really do. I care way too much. Like right now, I’m afraid someone will read this and think “what a pitiful person, all wimpy and whiney about her uncomplicated problems”.
Although I might send the notion of “evil bitch”, I’m only mean if I want to be. If I want to get to know you better my personality lightens up a lot. I go from “evil glare” to “try and pretend you are a normal girl”. But I’ve been known to be unnecessarily cruel.

I was bored and decided to write down some of my “amazing qualities”. All summed up I’m a pathetic human being with no aspiration to even be on this earth. (I’m still trying to figure out why I’m here) This is Ravyn in a nutshell.

8 comments

  1. *smiles a little* understandable…I suppose. Pleased to meet you Ravyn.

    -Elizabeth

  2. I got a question though. Why no color? I mean …. when I was grieving my fiance, I wore black for a year because it was something I had to do, and to be honest I was sick of it by the end. It felt pretty good to get some different shades back in my life – it felt like …. i don’t know, like coming alive again.

    Just wondered what statement you think you’re making.

    Oh … by the way. There’s only one thing that really disgusts me, and it’s not america’s youth. It’s people who look down their noses at other people. Alot like you’re doing.
    Yeah … you’re a hypocrit also. How can you be disgusted at how cruel people can be, when you said you’ve been unnecessarily cruel yourself? If you’re disgusted at your own actions then surely you should empathize instead of judging.

    One last thing … of course you have no aspirations to be here, not many of us really do. But where else are we gonna go? There’s no guarantee that there IS anything else.

    Later, Dam.

  3. thank you blacklight . you said a lot of what i wanted to say. there is something really fake and hypocritical about her .

    i think poseur when read this.

  4. You brought up a lot of good points Dam, and I’m sorry about you fiance passing. I thought she sounded pretty normal to me. And spoke as though being on meds and burning and cutting were accomplishments. A Fail to see the point of excluding colored clothing from one’s wardrobe. What’s with the black when your not in mourning? And I don’t wanna hear some “I’m mourning my dead soul” or “I died long ago” crap.
    Anyway I’ll go now. I’ll eat my salad in peace…

  5. I think you guys are being a little cruel. Everyone feels bad sometimes and has the right to share their feelings and feel sorry for themselves at times. We’re all human, just trying to cope in our own way.
    I used to wear black all the times also, but I didn’t even realise I was doing it. The beauty of black is that it’s neautral (which is why actors often wear it). Black clothes can represent a blank canvas and make it easier for you to become somebody else. It may be a way of hiding, a way of better discovering who you are, or simply a way to help appreciate the colour of life because you’re not blinded by it.
    Ravyn, don’t be afraid to be yourself, but also try to see that the real you, the you that may be hiding under all that black, and the you who tried to find understanding here today is able to work through these dark feelings. I know you don’t have control over all of them at all times, but you may just find that starting fresh, trying to reach out and speak to just one person who you might be able to trust, will help you to find the colour in your life.
    Black serves many purposes, but it also helps you to brood. People who brood just make it more difficult for themselves to achieve the lives they seek. If you think it’s too late to step out at school, then try finding some sort of club (that isn’t online) and join it. And I can tell you from personal experience that drama people are notoriously accepting, so if you’re already into that stuff, try that. It’ll be the most fun you’ll ever have, and you may find a confident young woman hiding in there. Chookers (Goodluck) as we say in the theatre. I know you can make yourself whomever you want to be, just stay true to your soul. (And maybe a dark purple or maroon top would would look great with all that black, just to break it up a little bit, but hey, that’s a decision for you to make when you feel ready, don’t let anyone try to change you, you have to do it yourself for it to be what’s right for you.)

  6. I don’t see any cruelty to the posts. Except for maybe morticia’s….but people are allowed to express their opinions and it’s their problem for doing so. Also, there’s a difference between feeling sorry for yourself and bragging. Bah…this is annoying, make whatever point you like. I don’t care about it anymore.

    You made some good points in your post Audryn. A for effort.

  7. ok i wont say fake . how about melodramatic? i think that would be better. a drama queen.

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