Dream Come True

The night was beautiful,the air cool. The scenery lovely,as was the company. He walked slowly over to her,took her hand,and they began to dance. They waltzed in time with the hauntingly beautiful music. He leaned down to whisper in her ear….

” BEEP BEEP BEEP” Leah rolled over and hit her alarm clock. “why does it always stop at the good part?” she thought to herself as she prepaired for another long boring day. She tied her boots and left the house,still thinking about the man in her dream. she’d had that dream six nights in a row so far,and it always stopped at the same part.
She got to school and went to where her and her friends normally meet in the morning. She was early,as usual, so she sat there alone waiting. As she sat there, she noticed a guy sitting alone at a table not far from hers,he must be new,she thought. She’d never seen him befor,but looking at him he looked a little like the guy in her dream. Her friends arrived and her thoughts were momentarily focused on them. THe bell for first block rang and she had forgotten all about the “new guy”,untill the begining of first block.
She put her stuff at her regular seat,and noticed once more, the new guy was in her class. she looked at him for a moment,and decided that he was rather attractive. He had black hair that was spiked and tipped with dark purple. His eyes were a deep cloudy kind of gray,and his skin was pale.
He was the only gothic guy she had seen at her school ever. THe second bell rang and the teacher settled the class enough to introduce the new student. ” Class,this is our new student, Christopher Smith.” THe class was silent,and all eyes were on Chris.”Christopher,you can take that seat,next to Leah.”. He knoded. “Leah,why dont you be a good patrion and show our new student around,hmm?” “Yes Mrs. Cummins” Leah was glad to,this ment she got out of class and she would get to know Chris. They left the class together,and walked down the hall. Chris seemed shy,very reserved,so Leah tried to break the ice,”Hi,Im Leah” she said as she stuck out her hand offering a hand shake.


  1. I really liked the first couple of paragraphs. I hald expected it to end in a vampire story (which i still suspect that it will), but here’s for hoping!

    I thought your story telling was ok but your diction was pretty limited. I didn’t like the constant referral to Chris as ‘the new guy’. I thought you perhaps could have taken more time to describe him an then maybe refered to him as the ‘dark stranger’ or ‘mysterious entity’ or somthin like that, i dunno.

    Am looking forward to maybe a rewrite and an ending?? Email it to me if you like: vixodus@hotmail.com


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