Escape

She lies on the floor, hot tears burning her cheeks. She knew she wouldn’t go too deep, she knew when to stop.

She lies on the floor, hot tears burning her cheeks. She knew she wouldn’t go too deep, she knew when to stop. She didn’t want to die; she just needed an escape, for a little while at least. Somehow the pain made her forget about everything else, that sweet, numbing pain. She didn’t want people to worry about her, she would be okay, and she didn’t need any help. “I’ll be fine,“ she mumbled to herself, “I’ll just lie here and rest, I can take a shower later. I just hope my mom doesn’t see any of this, I can’t stand the looking in her eyes.” She closes her eyes and thinks about the past week. Her boyfriend, Matt had dumped her for Alison, her best friend, that was hard enough, but the fight she had gotten in with her mom was the worst…
“I’m through with this, I’m not going to fight with you anymore, there’s nothing I can do about you now. I’m sick of crying and I’m sick of trying to help you, Emily. You can just go cut yourself to pieces. You’re on your own now like you should have been in the beginning. I don’t care anymore.” Her mother’s words rang coldly in her ears. It had been two weeks and she could still remember every word her mother had said. Karen, Emily’s mother, had meant everything she had said; she cancelled all of Emily’s therapy sessions, and barely talked to her after that fight. Karen gave Emily just enough to survive, but the rest was up to her.
Emily remembered how her mother had changed after she had found out Emily’s secret. Karen cried at first and blamed herself, but after a while, Karen stopped caring. Now she just looked at her daughter with disgust and resentment. This was the only way Emily could get rid of the pain, it was messy but it felt so good in the end. People at school acted so concerned, most of them ignored her, but the few that didn’t wouldn’t leave her alone. “I don’t see why people care so much, they don’t know me, it’s not hurting them. They don’t really give a shit about me anyway, why pretend? My mom doesn’t care, my dad…well he never cared. I don’t have any more friends. No one would notice if I died, no one would care.” Her head started to hurt and she felt weak, “I’m so tired, I’ll just take a nap before my mom gets home.” She turned on her stereo and turned the volume all the way up, loving the feeling of the floorboards shake beneath her. “I wonder what it feels like to die…” she thought to herself as her eyes began to close.
The sound of the front door slamming shut awoke her; it was her mother. “Damn,” she mumbled to herself as she looked at the clock, not noticing the music still blaring from her stereo. “I better get into the shower before my mom comes upstairs and sees me.” She clumsily stood up, she felt so dizzy she could barely hold herself up. Emily tried to get to the door, but kept stumbling. Everything began to get dark and hazy, she could feel blood dripping down her arm. “Must…get to…the…” she mumbled to herself before falling again.
Karen walked into the house her parents had bought for her and Emily; she slammed the door behind her. Karen had wanted to give Emily up for adoption when she couldn’t get the money for an abortion. She knew her parents wouldn’t approve of her getting rid of the baby though. Her parents had made a deal with her; as long as she agreed to take care of her daughter, they would pay for them to live. She did love her daughter in a way, but she didn’t want her. Perhaps if Emily were easier to take care of, Karen wouldn’t have reminded her that she was unwanted almost daily.
Karen heard her daughter’s music blaring from her room upstairs. “Damnit, I don’t need another complaint about the noise.” Karen climbed up the stairs and pounded on Emily’s door. Hearing no answer she tried to open the door, the handle turned but the door wouldn’t move. Karen pushed the door harder and it opened enough for her to see that Emily’s dresser was not blocking the door to keep her out. “Emily! Turn that shit down!” Karen yelled. Nothing. She pushed the door harder and this time it opened; Karen tripped and fell into the room. She reached up and turned off the stereo and looked back to see what she had tripped over. It was Emily. The dark haired girl lay on the soft, snowy-white carpet, the dark blood forming a pool beneath her. Karen reached over and felt for a pulse, knowing there would be nothing there. She could feel the flesh already beginning to cool; the blood was drying. Blood was everywhere; a crimson-stained razorblade lay on the floor. Karen turned her daughter over, Emily stared lifelessly back at her. She closed Emily’s eyes and ran her hand through a lock of Emily’s long black hair.
The Ambulance came and took Karen’s only daughter away
~ ~ ~
The funeral went by very quickly. There were only five people there; Karen, her parents, Matt, and Alison. Only Emily’s grandparents seemed sad. Karen, Matt and Alison came more because they felt obligated to go rather than wanting to say good-bye. Matt and Alison left before the short funeral was even over. When Karen went to kiss her daughter’s icy-cold forehead, she shed a single tear.
After the funeral, no one ever mentioned Emily again…she was kind of erased. No one talked about her, no one thought about her, no one really cared.