Have you ever hit that breaking point? I don’t mean when your sad or hurt, or even when you are feeling the razor blade slide through your skin. Not when you are in tears and begging for help.
Just on your knees hoping that someone will stop to lend their hand. I am talking far beyond that point. Long past the anger and hurt, the point where you cant cry, where the cuts no longer satisfy the hunger for life and happiness. When you you have gotten so accustomed to the pain that you no longer know how you feel anymore. You are submissive, you are finally broken. You are hollow, empty, trapped and drowning in your suffering. Life means nothing to you and death so close and captivating. But you dont reach for it. For whatever reason you stay put, hoping that you wil soon come up for the air that you need so fuckin’ desprately. The simplicity of everything makes you realize that nothing is worth it. You are shattered. But somewhere in the depth of yourself you sense safety… there WILL be a tomarrow… and you WIll enjoy that simplicity once again, someday. That sense is what keeps you alive, holding your breath and waiting for the surface to break.