Fed Up With Everyday Life


I’m lying on the ground, thinking about my life. Oh how i want to end it so badly. Sometimes i think too much, and my mind gets too carried away. But death is something i know i want. Its something i crave. Sometimes i think I’m crazy. I think that I’m insane. But that one person keeps me handing on… Even though at times it seems he hates me.
The stars look so beautiful out here in the cool, lonley night. Being out here all by myself, makes me wish i had someone to hold me tight. I’ve spent my life surrounded by family, but always feeling so alone. They always stayed away from me… i was the “outcast” one. They’d push me down, kick dirt in my face. And I’d get up, wipe the dirt off, and put a smile on my face. Now I’m to the age where everythings a blurr. I have a cocky attitude, and i dont give a shit about anything anymore. I dont take anything seriously… Reality only hits me about a couple minutes before the acual thing happens. People tell me i should care more about things. I should care more about my life. Its really nothing to me… I dont plan on living long anyway. I really dont see what there is to live for. It’s all just a load of shit in my eyes. They say I’m supposed to grow up, get married, have kids, be the woman I’m supposed to be. Man fuck that. There’s no one out there who would ever take anything that far with me. Basiclly what i think is cutting and crying is the main things in my life. I guess my boyfriend would go with the main things too. But he’s gotten to where he doesnt give a shit about anything anymore too. So why care? I see no point. Everytime a problem is “taken care of” it always comes back. So i mean, why even try if in the end it all seems like you’ve failed?? Now, things dont matter to me anymore. I guess I’m just another complaining bitch just waiting to die. I mean, if you fuck up, you fuck up. If u succeed, you succeed. If you die, then you die… and if you give up then damnit you give up. I have no clue really about what i just wrote was all about. They were just some thoughts i have floating around in my head tonight. Comment back if you would like.

By DeathAwaitsMe

I'm 15 years old, I live in Amarillo, Texas. I'm a lesbian. I have no friends, and I love to write.