I may be one of the few in the world that has lived with my depression long enough to be able to ignore it most of the time, but I do not believe that Most of you are as bad off as you say you are. Sure, I love to play with knives, yes, self mutilation is a *thing* with me, yes, I am a very deeply melancholic person; But, unlike other people, I do not post all my sorrows on this page, in order to be understood and felt sorry for.
Actually, I think if I did that, I would be writing for a very very very long time- even if I am not as old as many think I am, from my experiences…
I came to this site because one of my close friends recommended it to me….. I liked what I saw, until I started reading some of the articles…. most are great, but some are just people who love to bit** and whine about their petty grievances, just like I am doing now. Can none of you realize that you are degrading yourselves, by trying to make yourselves fit in? (which some of you are doing, very badly…) I wish just once, that i could visit the site and read something useful, instead of “my cat died”, and “i dont take my meds”, and “i am looking for this type of person” sort of thing……i think most of us would appreciate it.
~mistydawn~
poisonedshadows
There is a lot more to this site and its members than what you have chosen to write about. I find the people in this site interesting and insightful.I think its a great place to go not for smpathy or to whine, but to learn and feel comfort when the “normal” world is just more than I can stand.As for fitting in, I have never fit in.Nor have I ever cared about it. At this site, there is no criticism for that and that I consider useful. Anne
I agree that not everything posted on this site is worth the time it takes to read it. But I also come here understanding that just because someone proclaims themselves as “goth” doesn’t mean I’ll like them. I take everyone’s opinions as a grain of salt, unless I detect that there is something more to a particular individual. This applies to the postings I read on darksites, as it would to any other situation in life.
But regarding the impression you have that people are just whining and can’t possibly have as many problems as they claim…I have to disagree.
As a fellow depressive/suicidal/mutilator/relisher of melancholy thoughts, I have to say that we come in many a variety, and have a multitude of different experiences to share. Although I know a few people that I would classify as “depressed” and even “suicidal,” none of their experiences quite match up to what I have experienced when I have been suicidal. To the point where I don’t think these people really understand the dark places I’ve been, even though they’ve been to equally dark places. There are many shades of black, I suppose.
Keeping this in mind, when people post to darksites, what you may perceive as “whining” may really be the only outlet that this person has for what is going on in his/her head. This I can certainly understand. And if the topic is regarding depression or suicide, then we have to be 10 times as understanding, as the person posting is not in an emotionally stable state. (Although I’m sure some might argue with this…) But the bottom line is that if darksites is used as an avenue for exploring all sorts of crazy thoughts, then so be it. I welcome using the internet for such purposes, especially if it helps people sort through their thoughts, or give them time to calm down and prevent them from making rash decisions.
I guess just try to keep in mind that the people that post here come from all over, range widely in age (try to remember that there are probably a lot of really young people out there), and have had a multitude of experiences. Not to discount at all the depression you’ve lived with for so long, but there are others that have a different sort of depression. Not any less dark. Just another shade, perhaps.
I agree that not everything posted on this site is worth the time it takes to read it. But I also come here understanding that just because someone proclaims themselves as “goth” doesn’t mean I’ll like them. I take everyone’s opinions as a grain of salt, unless I detect that there is something more to a particular individual. This applies to the postings I read on darksites, as it would to any other situation in life.
But regarding the impression you have that people are just whining and can’t possibly have as many problems as they claim…I have to disagree.
As a fellow depressive/suicidal/mutilator/relisher of melancholy thoughts, I have to say that we come in many a variety, and have a multitude of different experiences to share. Although I know a few people that I would classify as “depressed” and even “suicidal,” none of their experiences quite match up to what I have experienced when I have been suicidal. To the point where I don’t think these people really understand the dark places I’ve been, even though they’ve been to equally dark places. There are many shades of black, I suppose.
Keeping this in mind, when people post to darksites, what you may perceive as “whining” may really be the only outlet that this person has for what is going on in his/her head. This I can certainly understand. And if the topic is regarding depression or suicide, then we have to be 10 times as understanding, as the person posting is not in an emotionally stable state. (Although I’m sure some might argue with this…) But the bottom line is that if darksites is used as an avenue for exploring all sorts of crazy thoughts, then so be it. I welcome using the internet for such purposes, especially if it helps people sort through their thoughts, or give them time to calm down and prevent them from making rash decisions.
I guess just try to keep in mind that the people that post here come from all over, range widely in age (try to remember that there are probably a lot of really young people out there), and have had a multitude of experiences. Not to discount at all the depression you’ve lived with for so long, but there are others that have a different sort of depression. Not any less dark. Just another shade, perhaps.
(Also I apologize for the duplicity.)
i do not want to discount any of your experiences or emotions, but we have all been through a lot of shit, not just the people who post here, but everyone. so many people seem to have an easy life, but everyone has problems and thoughts that are very dark at times. every experience has a different meaning to each person. it all depends on one’s perspective. there is no space for any of us to write here all that has made us what we are, and brought us to these thoughts, none of us fit in (you have probably seen some arguing if you have read alot here) it is all an illusion. for all the information you can gather, from the most objective viewpoint you can find, you will never see outside of your own world, because you can never be someone else. this is not about sympathy, it is about expression for the aimless thoughts and midnight reveries of people who want to find an outlet, and a place where you are not immediately condemned at face value. sorry, this has gotten kind of long, but if you are concerned that we have not felt deep enough depression to justify all of this, maybe you should read more closely…
some people use this site as a way of sharing there experiences and feelings with others, when they do not feel they can tell people they know.some people such as family members can feel too close and there is often the fear of letting them down. i understand and appreciate that this may not be the way you feel(please note:i did say MAY) but others feel this is their only outlet.obviously not all are genuine, but i for one applaud those that are for having the courage to share there true feelings as i know how hard it can be.and those that ar not genuine i pity for it shows there is an altogether different problem,but it is not for me to decide who is genuine and who is not
many apologies, i posted my reply to the wrong comment
I still say that anyone who truly wants to commit suicide will not post a farewell, or any sort of warning whatsoever. People who post depressed notes saying that they are contemplating suicide are still looking for reasons to stay alive. Furthermore, I think that they are close enough to wanting life that they will not be pushed over the edge by any comments made on an e-list. They’re fishing for attention and warmth; they’ll get it in real life, not just in cyberspace. I’ve known too many people who posted noted of farewell for years over the internet. After a while it got a little old.
What is useful to one may not be to another. Deal with it:) If my cat died, I would be pretty fucking upset:) I care not what is posted here. If I am not interested, I move on to the next article. If someone is upset about something, the whole POINT of it here is to feel accepted and not told “We would appreciate you taking it elsewhere”. Please do not speak for anyone but yourself, otherwise I think you might run up against some opposition:)
listen…i’m one of darksites “baby bats” (I’m 15) and compared to many others i have no right to bitch…despite my history of depression, 6 suicide attempts, and brief institutionalization, i have a lot going for me- a supportive family, a comfortable financial situation, a sh*tload of expensive doctors at my beck and call, and i’m spoiled as hell. I feel bad enough venting my feelings because i’m all too aware of how petty my complaints seem. i hate myself for being weak and for annoying people with my woes. i hate myself whenever i act my age. at darksites i can express myself unselfconsciously and honestly. i don’t fear the judgements i fear when i confide anywhere else. please don’t try to tell me there’s something wrong with that.
I would rather read a hundred postings from people whose misery I couldn’t share than read another letter of the type I received some years ago…from a dear friend who didn’t feel able to share what she felt with anyone until it was too late. What I received was not a cry for help, it was an apology for not saying goodbye. I know we all look at the world through our own past, but I can’t condemn anyone for reaching out-“if only” is not a phrase you ever want to live with, believe me.
where on earth do you manage to get attention and warth in real life, please tell me. i dont mean this to be negative i really want to know and i trust you so much i dont know you but your so strong.
*sigh* Perhaps you should write something useful before you bitch about the things you read here not being useful.
faet55
Do you really think that *anyone* that wants to commit suicide really believes, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that committing suicide is a good thing? Do you think that they are not aware of how crazy their thoughts are? Do you think they don’t desperately want to be able to go through life without wanting to die?
I don’t believe such people exist. And if they do, they must certainly be a rarity.
I think that all suicidals are still desperately seeking reasons to live. Whether they post a farewell or not.
I also think that comments made on an email list might be enough to push someone over the edge. I think if you’re crazy enough to want to commit suicide, ANY little thing can be a trigger. These are not emotionally stable people we’re talking about.
But I do see your point about how it can get old…just thought I’d add my 2 cents.
Can’t answer that…it’s different for every person.
Keep looking.
Maybe the person whose cat died had a deep psychological attachment to the cat. Maybe they wanted someone to help them through mourning for it.
Although I must agree with you, I know this girl who is always trying to make me feel sorry for her. She always says she is gonna kill herself, and she cuts her arms, something she starteddoing after seeing the scars on my arms, which were a story from my past. The sad thing is, she was OLDER than me, and she was so annoying that I just wanted to punch her in the teeth. I suffer from clinical depression, used to be suicidal, self-mutilation, blah, blah, blah. And now I don’t care what anybody says, if someone was really going to kill themselves, they wouldn’t go tell everyone, they wouldn’t leave a sissy little cut on their wrist. All you’re reading are just pathetic cries for attention. If they say they are a “goth”( a stereotype I hate to use) then I bet they’re just nobody’s who’d come bother us and try to be like us. And they don’t know how. They just think that we are born suicidal, so that’s how they act. If any of this has made sense, I’ll eat my own tongue. So I guess I just rambled for no reason. But if I had to get my point across, goth is becoming a trend, people are losers. Don’t pay attention to them, they aren’t worth your time.
Evyl Dall Babie
Rich, spoiled people make me sick.