For about 7 months I have been fighting my self for control over my emotions. Everytime I get into a fight I get so violent. I lash out…
I feel like all I want to do is break something. I guess its to feel like I have control over the fate of an object. Today, my boyfriend and I broke up for a stupid reason. All I wanted to do was destroy something! I broke a glass. It felt so good. I’m thinking that I have to focus my anger on something productive. Maybe I should start running track or something. I have tried counting to ten all that good stuff. Its a bunch of bull shit. Not helping one bit. I just need to get a handle on it. I’m so afraid I’m going to grip my fists too tight one day, or grit my teeth a little to hard and I’ll hurt myself. I want to hurt other things! Not me! TBC
I don’t know about your particular situation, but for me, it took something more focused than running track. Violence as a way of lashing out at the world used to be pivitol in my life until i started taking kickboxing. I train about twice a week now. I sweat, punch, kick and yell and leave feeling sated. Human beings are not completely passive and complacent. We are physical creatures with primal urges centering around sexuality and confrontation with the world. The key, i think, is to find ways to harnass that side of yourself and find a outlet for it. Martial arts is not only great in that sense, but it also brings an element of control into the picture, bringing about an all around positive change in your outlook. Try it. Good luck…
I agree with spawnboy i think some form of martial arts is a great way to release anger and do something productive also i used to do Karate and loved it, i think you should look into other forms of martial arts and give it a shot.
Good luck!