I’m sitting at my computer, listening to Meteora. This entire CD makes me think of you. Every song has a meaning behind it that brings back heartbreaking memories of the times we spent together.
I’ve lied so many times to so many people, telling them that I’m over you and I’m moving on, but I’m not. It’s so hard to get you out of my head. Everywhere I turn there are things that remind me of you. Even my own bed forces me to think of you and the times we spent in it. Why can’t I move on? You hurt me so badly that my soul almost gave in. but I didn’t let it. I forced it to carry on because, if there is only one thing I learnt from you, it’s that there is always something better out there. So I search for that something better. But my search is constantly sidetracked by memories of you. Mostly of the hurting that you have put and are putting me through. Why did you do it? Were you not the one who always said, “We are perfect for together”? What happened to that perfection? When did it change? When did you just decide that we shouldn’t be together anymore? Was it when that cunt came into your life? Did you really think that after you left me for him, we could still be friends? Well I’m sorry to ruin your selfish, sadistic plans of life, but it doesn’t work that way. You can’t have us both. You are not that blessed. And besides that, you don’t deserve me. And I only say that because you used and abused me. You took me for a ride. I fell so deeply in love with you and you manipulated me and used that love against me. I don’t know if you got some sort of sick satisfaction out of what you did to me, but I certainly hope you enjoyed it. I really hope you enjoyed it. Because I won’t let it happen again. And the day will come when you realize your mistake and who knows, you might come back to me. Well, don’t bother. I will not be here waiting for you. It is hard right now, but I know that I will move on. I am stronger than you think and I have the strength to break the ties I have with you. And when I do, the pain will stop and the memories will be locked away in the deepest, darkest area of my mind. And that will be the day when I begin again. Unfortunately for you, that day will be soon, and any chance you have of getting me back will be lost for eternity. So be happy with that cunt. And when he cheats on you and leaves you for another woman after he gets his quick fuck from you, don’t come crying to me. I will not be your shoulder to cry on, your little comfort zone. That has been lost to you and you will never get it back…