god punished me with an itch; fucker.

I thought there was something wrong with me, that i was wrong. the way i pick at my skin, the way i pull at my hair, the way i contemplate the meaning and purpose behind most thing and ways and people.

i can’t understand why people smoke ciggaretes. why and how did somebody decide “this shit is difficult to grow in masses, even harder to perfect, bad for you, smells bad and i wanna be the guy to make is a huge market.” even if there was no proof that they were bad for you then somebody had to have had an idea how bad it was for you. like milk, if it makes your face curl when you shove your nose into a stale pile of it, it’s no good…..and i smoke 2 packs a day.

but more then understanding other people, and concepts, i want to know about my self.
like why do i pull out my hair, and scratch at my skin, scratch off flakes of dried skin and scabs all over all the time. squeeze puss out and roll it into balls. why would anybody do that, and why is it so satisfying to me?
and why does the man i am going to marry not hate that i do it.
he understands.
“it happens to me” he says
“i had to shave my head i got so agravated” he says
“just use a washcloth”
“shower more”
“drink water”
“you just have to deal with it. it doesn’t ever go away, just don’t scratch”

i had to get my keyboard cleaned. it had “…dirt, dust… do you smoke?….looks like some thing knocked the white shit off the ceiling onto it maybe.”

“quit scratching!”
“i can’t help it, i itch”
“your getting flakes on the bad, couldn’t you do that over there?”
“i’m tired and and your starting is to make me itch”

i keep myself somewhat clean. but it still wont stop.

and it’s all on my lower back, my arms, my legs, and my hair.

so i went to the free clinic.

“aren’t those bugs though?”
“yeah, they crawl in your skin, and eat your dead skin, then they just shit in there, thats why it itches all the time. it’s their shit.”
“eww, what do i do”
“do you have a place you can soak in a bath?”
“yes, not often though”
“thats fine, soak in a bath with this, if it doesn’t go away after a couple of weeks, come back and we’ll use something stronger. how long did you say you’ve been itching?”
“after the vien thing, about 3 weeks.”
“it’s really not that bad, it can always be worse. but i see why you put off coming back, some if it could just be dope sacks working there way out of your skin. you still twitching?”
“yeah, and scratching.”
“nice, NEXT!”

so where is my higher power, and why did he invent scabies anyways? they don’t do anything to help anybody, their just a punishment, like locusts. Why shoudl i be punished? i thought i was doing well.

a god that holds grudges is a fucker….



  1. I hear your point and i understand…though to tell you the truth some cultures…such as old African tribes consider locusts a delicious treat.

    Use the medicine, it’ll help. But my question is: Why did God creat acne? I happen to hate things that have no purpose except to put creatures through pain scabies for instance.


  2. Wait… You think God gave you this itch thing? Why would God do something like that? Satin, he did it. Remember, god only does good.

  3. read the bible my friend. if god only does good then why would he let the Nile run with blood, or how about when he flooded the earth, allowing only Noah and his family forwarning. God hates the world.

    “for God so hated the fucking world, he let his own magical son get iced”

  4. i had scabies once. i was 13 and i was known as the rabies girl. it made my hands, arms and legs itch. self infliction is a problem with only my mother. “Stop pickin at yourself! You’re gonna get even uglier!” i really don’t care. i wish i could stop sometimes, but it does, as you said, give a feeling of satisfaction. i pinch at my upper arms. Pinch them so hard i create little holes in them. i rip off the skin and you can see where the hair follicle starts. When they start to heal they get these dark thick scabs and i’ll rip those off. so the holes in my arms get deeper. i don’t wear short sleeves. when someone sees it i’ll say it’s a rash. in the locker rooms i would hear shit like “What the fuck is that!” and “It better not be contagious”. i used to get scabs on my head. filled with puss. i’d scratch them off and play with the little dent it left on my scalp. it cradled my finger, exact to fit it’s size. But i stopped when i shaved my head. it started to get gross when my hair would grow out and there were scabs attatched to a clump of strands. my arms look like they’re covered in tiny cigarrette burns. and i’m learning to keep my fingers off my face. i still rip off the skin that surrounds my fingernails. there’s always blood on my hands. i don’t believe god made scabies. i don’t believe he’s concerned with us enough to give us such punishments. i don’t believe satan makes all that is bad, people are responsible for a LOT of the shit that’s rotten in the world, but if i HAD to agree with SOMETHING….then you hold a better arguement than stillwaiting does. That’s a good quote.
    a god that hold grudges IS a fucker.
    do you really believe in god?

  5. I would like to state that our oh holy “God” who can do no wrong is nothing more than a dick. He resembles what we call today a “Dictator”. Think about it…we are supposed to worship him,believe that he is the only supreme being,love him…etc. He is a cocksucker. He is a gay buttfucker!!! I hate the son of a bitch for doing this to everyone. If he really exists. I think he does. But religion is a crutch and even if you all won’t admit it you all know it is true. So think about it and tell the damn bastard to burn in the Hell of his own creation.

  6. “my child, in the beginning, there was nothing, then god said…LET THERE BE LIGHT, and there was still nothing…but you could see it.”
    ~ senor MONK

  7. The “problem” with God [or goodness, whichever term you prefer] is that we have freedom not to choose him (or it).

    Goodness is being selfless–putting others in front of you. If your aim in life was really and truly to make things better for others, the scabies would still bother you physically, but it wouldn’t matter to you.

    You choose your own pain. Stop blaming God, society, or anything else. Physical pain might not go away, but it doesn’t have to matter to you if you weren’t self-centered. Sometimes it takes having to deal something yucky like scabies to learn, to get you out of yourself.

    I know this is harsh, but it’s my best attempt to answer your question. Good luck with the treatment.

  8. Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t blame god for everything, but if he does really exist, then he has the power to fix all the hopeless shit that is going on in our lives, scabies included. And if he loves us as much as we’ve be told throughout our lives, then he shouldn’t be putting us in positions to be depressed and making us pay for what some naive people did by taking a stupid fucking apple off the tree of knowledge. He just got pissed because we wanted to learn something (and if it wasn’t for the apple we would never have learned how to cure scabies). So I say if it makes things easier to handle by blaming the one who created the idea of problems in the first place, then I say so be it.

  9. I don’t know about any of you, but I feel good that I don’t have to blame god for anything that happens. I don’t believe he does any right or wrong on us. People are responsible for what’s wrong with people. I don’t like to blame god when something bad happens. It’s weak. Shit happens. That’s life. What I like even less are the people who praise god for the good that is brought upon them. HELLOOOOO…..when something good happens to me(does NOT happen often!), I am DAMN pleased with myself. I worked hard for it, why give the credit of hard work and determination to some imagionary dude that may or may not exist?
    “Thou doth not take of thee so fuck off Lord”

  10. hey … why the fuck should some “higher being” take credit for our shit … ‘god’ as u call him only takes credit for the good … the ‘evil’ shit .. he blames satan … ‘satan is the best friend the church ever had … he kept them in business all these years’ … if some thing good happens then we did it our selves not sum higher load ov bull (no offence ne one… these are my views) and any shit that happenes to us is also our own doing … not some little red thing with horns …

Comments are closed.