happy ending

Well… it was going to happen sooner or later…. you driven the last bit of sanity out of me. I wonder if anyone is shedding a tear or two for me…

I highly doubt it but if there’s a tear its a happy tear. Well I want everyone to know how I felt about them and what I know. I do realize this is a waist of time and no one’s even reading it because they got better things to do. I’ve always felt ignored I have never felt cared for and no ones said they loved me. I feel invisible I call your name and u don’t hear me…. are u deaf or am I just a figment of my own imagination living in a fake world where only I can see me. I say your name over and over but u don’t look up that pisses me off fuck u for that Bitch. I talk and you just choose not to listen u listen at first but then not shut up because your opinion and voice is more important than mine. (your wrong, your just one of the ignorant) I feel that I had no purpose here on earth I was just put here to be frowned upon. I feel like no on cares, and no ones ever there. I wish someone told me they loved me and said that they cared because I no ones ever told me that meaningfully. I hate it when people think that my life is so perfect its not…. not at all a bit close to it. Nothing good has ever fallen upon me and made me smile, I have not even seen true love* I was just always that whore every one uses. Not a day goes by without something negative being said to me… there hasn’t been one day were I wasn’t called a slut* My cries for help were so noticeable* how could u not tell…… you only think about yourself and not how your actions effect others. I have always been a sad as a child, a kid, and now a teen. When I was little I got my ass kicked by my brother, I was helpless how can u abuse a small child? I had no friends at all till I was 5 I had no contact with another person my age until that age which caused very poor communication skills and I still do hold that… I had about 4 friend’s which I didn’t feel like they were my friend’s all they did was treat me bad and kick me out of games they played and treated me like shit I felt like a tag along that no one wanted around. Every day I would cry about having no friends to play with but I would get over it until the next day when I was back in the same spot crying again. Why have I always felt so unloved???? just why? why cant I ever be happy all the tears I have cried my whole life could probally fill a small ocean perhaps a large one. I always tried to please people and be what they wanted me to be but that is just bull shit…… why do I have to live up to someone’s failed expentation’s from someone I absoulutly hate. I have no reasons to try anymore I been disowned from the day I was born. Im only here to be tormented and abused. My childhood has cause a great effect on my life now it taught me not to care, it taught me to raise my hands and say fuck you all, it has taught me that im not wanted. Im now known as one of the biggest drug whores in skool which sucks because im not a whore…. im just struggling with my problems and do whatever it takes to get away. I don’t do well i got o skool for one reasons… to get my drugs thats the only thing I feel that cares for me. I didn’t know i was goin insane my whole life. I have an obsession with blood now, i sit around and jut start stabbing myself and say how im not wanted to make feel worse about myself and make me want to die more. I bleed and laugh and cry in a happy way till I pass out and wake up and wonder why im not dead yet? I have fantasy’s about killing people then drinking there blood, it sometimes feels like Im watching evil kill them for me right in my head. i see images of ppl i hate getting there heads chopped off and then playing a soccer game with there head. You make a smart ass remark and think i wont react… and then are like freak when i say something back.. well fuck u i dont care anymore you caused my suffering for almost 15 years i hate life it has no purpose at all! its just a painfull stage of eternity that should perish…… i cant take it any more i want out im picking up this knife right now? i cant control it the blood feels so good running out my wrist and i can hold it in my hands and i drink it to ease the pain which is a charming pain i enjoy. i fall to the floor and i drift into an unknown eternity im about to meet……… its just my idea of a happy ending to a kinda sad story

By The Evil Cheezman

Purveyor of sacred truths and purloined letters; literary acrobat; spiritual godson of Edgar Allan Poe, P.T. Barnum, and Ed Wood; WAYNE MILLER is the head architect of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, serving up the finest in entertainment and edification for the stage, the page, and the twain screens, silver and computer. He is the axe-murderer who once met Andy Griffith.