Have you ever?

This is jes something i wrote…i think it speaks for itself…
…Have you ever been afraid to love…or afraid of how much you loved something…have you ever loved someone so much,for so long,and still hav no idea why? and even though all the circumstances surrounding that person are so wrong…

everything about being with them is wrong…yet still you cant help but adore them? and the more u try to surpress it..the more it comes out….i have…
Have you ever wanted someone so badly that you can feel them in your dreams-hear them-taste them almost and suffered the burning pain of loss when you wake up and open your eyes to discover that it was nothing more than a dream…i have…
Have u ever felt like u were insignificant…non existant…invisable…like no matter what u do…things will never change…
Have u ever had to watch others over and over flash their knowing smiles when they got what they knew u wanted…and had to smile back because what u wanted with all your heart was theirs now….and there was nothing u could ever do to change that….have u ever felt the frustration and the helplessness and the hurt and the anger grow inside of you like acid eating away at the coer of your very being…gradually growing…while you smile on the outside and continue to give and to give until the anger turns into resentment and the resentment into pain….and the pain into guilt…the guilt into tears….numbness….selfhatred…then the brief feeling of relief in the belief that one day you will be better off than them….one day it will get back to them….one day….
Have you ever felt like somebody else is always getting what u want and simply cant help but wonder-why them…why not me….i could be so good to that person,for that person….i could love them so much more….have you ever had so much to say…..but no voice to say it with….
i have…..


  1. I know exactly how that feels, it feels horrible
    when you have something to say to someone
    that you really care for but are afraid to say it for fear that it may hurt them or that their reply may hurt you . It really blows.

  2. I know how you feel too, it really sucks it always happens to me, when im too afraid to say what i really feel, then that person is gone and it hurts so much. Its happening to me now, theres someone im in love with and have been for a year and ive been to afraid to say anything and now ive found out that its to late because hes going back to china and i will never know what we could have been. That really hurts.

  3. Thanks for responding…its nice to know that there other people out there who know how i feel….love is such a fucked up thing….its like a friggin rollercoaster…
    and when its down…u feel like the whole world is on your shoulders…im in between 3 fellas right now…two of which wont give me the time of day…other than in a friendship way…and one that i think likes me but i dont really like him but then i do….its the worst….i hav no idea what to do….i dont kno if to go through with this dude coz im not sure if im really into him…but then…i dont know…lol thankz for understanding

  4. Yes, sadly I know exactly how it feels. All too well. I’ve loved this man for 2 years…2 days ago he told me he did not love me. And my world fell apart. How casually he said it, with no regrets. How easily he can fuck other whores when I could be so much better than her. Everything shattered when I realized he does not care about me, but was only pretending to so I’d leave him alone. I hate him now. I hate him and sit in a cornor plotting revenge and death upon him. I wish the world would kill him off. End his life, thus would be the end of my hurt.


  5. Gee, thanks for preety much summing up my life right now with that. I know exactly what it feels like and it does feel like nothing will ever get better and for the rest of ur life u’ll be thinking of that one person. That scares the hell out of me. What if that one guy was my soul mate na dnow he’s gone, so I will be destined to be unhappy, no matter what happens. Keep up the good work!!

  6. P.S. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one in the world who feels like that!!

  7. i wish i knew the feeling but i don’t think i’ll ever know what love really is. there are things that have happened in my past that make it so i will never know love and always fear it.

  8. DAMN IT!

    Look what you did! You made me CRY.

    He’s everything that I ever wanted. Everything I could imagine. He just couldn’t take me complimenting him, but I could live with that. I told him how I felt, that I loved him. He didn’t believe me. I told him about my past and how I hated those who threw the word love around like it was a baseball, never knowing what it means. He knew that I would never say I loved ANYTHING unless I meant it.
    And I told him I loved him. He didn’t believe me, and it broke me apart. I didn’t let him know though. Kept it inside tearing at me.
    Everyday I think about him. No matter what I’m doing, where I am, or who I’m with.. he’s still with me.
    He isn’t though. He doesn’t want me, but he’s afraid to tell me. He’d rather be with C, he never talks about her but I know what he’s thinking. What can I do? I told him how I felt and he shot me down, I can’t stop him from caring about her. I’m just another girl that he keeps around for fun.
    I don’t want to give up on him but I don’t think I have any other choice. Sometimes… I wish I could make him feel the way he makes me feel. He’d understand then. He’d know why I’m like this with him, why I love him.
    I don’t know what to do.

  9. Intoxication,
    I feel your pain, honestly!! When I read this I got even more depressed. I know what it’s like to love someone and not be able to stop thinking about them. I’d like to say that with time, it stops hurting and eventually you’ll forget, but I can’t. Today it’s been 4 yrs. since I feel in love with this guy, and every year on this day we got together, but not today. It’s been hard, but you gotta deal, u know?? That one person will be with you forever, and right now I take what I can get. When he’s sick of his girlfriend, he comes back to me, but trust me thats not a good thing. It makes it even harder in the long run. You should try to get away from this guy or MAKE HIM realize you love him. It’s the only way. We’re all here for u!!

  10. I have ended up feeling this way about anyone I have ever loved. Nice to see that I am not the only one. It was scary how closely I could relate to it. Good piece of writing.

  11. intox and profile, i know exactly what u are talking about. i had a similar relationship. i really loved this girl, and i made my feelings known to her and she said “i don’t care.” imagine how that made me feel. but i still remained a true friend to her, but after almost 3 years of friendship, she said she couldn’t be my friend anymore. why? because her boyfriend doesnt like me!!!
    it hurt, it hurts so bad, i just want the pain to go away..

  12. You can’t tell me you understand how I feel. You don’t know what’s going on or how much he means to me. If it wasn’t for him, I’d be dead at this very moment… in a sense he did kill me, emotionally.

    I’m sorry if I’m being rude but you can’t understand.

    The circumstances between you and your lover might be different than me and him.

    He knows I love him. I’ve told him many times.
    If I try to get away, I’ll end up losing him. I’d rather be hurt forever than risk losing him for life. It’d be too much to handle for me.

    Love is pain. If you can endure the pain, then you can face anything.

    Good bye.

  13. if any of u happen to have msn…and wanna talk my email addy is sarie_sue@hotmail.com….i could never relay this to any of my friends because they wouldnt bother to listen or couldnt begin to be able to understand….im different from them…well everybodys different but u all seem to be on a similar level to me…an itd b nice if i could talk to yall…

  14. i totally agree with u intox. it is impossible to understand someone else’s feelings. i appologize for the assumption. and yes u are right “love is pain,” and life is no walk in the park either, sometimes u just have to swallow hard and take it for what its worth.

  15. i think the craziest thing about love is how good it feels, but then when you lose it you have a feelin of emptiness that is a million times stronger than the love ever felt.

  16. Im sorry.
    It’s just that I dont believe in love being some magical force that stop’s hate and crap.









  17. Wrong! You are wrong BlueBar!!! Do not speak so until you have felt the sensation of love yourself. I used to think just like you. I thought love sucked and that it was weak. Until this year.
    So please be silent.

  18. Who ever said that love will fix everything wrong in the world? No one.

    Love isn’t weakness. As for being a stronger person because you cannot love, that’s just stupidity and stubborness. It’s being insensitive and heartless. Humans should not be those things.

    Then again, most of the population of this earth are not humans. They are people.

    If you ask me.. you seem like a weak person. And it’s because you can’t feel anything.


  19. i completely agree with u intoxication…
    it’s human nature to love…and if u deny yourself that then u r denying your very nature…it isnt a sign of weakness…its actually a sign of strength in a sense…its kinda like ure strong enough inside yourself to reach out to somebody else…no matter what the outcome may be…whether the person returnes it or accepts it or not…its just really painful and unfortunate when it doesnt happen the way u planned….but i guess lifes like that u kno?? everybodys entitled to their opinion…thatz just mine…

  20. I think love is a strength….only when you know where you stop and the other person begins. People who get too obsessed are weak and codependent. They need to chill out and realize that the world won’t end if you don’t have a “someone” love brings unhappiness and you need to know if you can deal with what comes with it. Depression is a flaw in love.

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