Hell Hole

Wondering if I’ll make it through the day
Hoping that I’ll see him when I get there
Praying that I shouldn’t blow it away
Crying out to whoever will listen, clawing at my hair
Obsessing, driving me over the edge
Leaping only at broken opportunities
I pray to God, please don’t let me do something I’ll regret
Running away from the hell hole that she ties
I pull at the bonds that tie me down
Unable to break through I bleed my sorrow
The blood pours out silent and smooth
It pools on the ground at my feet
By this a pray for release, it won’t come today
I stand there in my silence, waiting for the darkness to fall
I hold my breath, and turn my back,
Block the noise out, erase the voices
They still enter and spin in my whirlwinds
They’re breaking through now, I can’t ignore them
I fall to my knees and hide my face from their eyes
They don’t know me, theses strangers,
I shy away from their touch, but it’s inevitable
The hands that touch me burn my skin,
Their eyes penetrate my form and I hear them speak
“Its alright, I’m here for you. You’re not alone anymore”
I stop, and I sigh, I lift my face, and I wipe away the blood.
I know that voice, it has never failed to move me
I turn and I fall into their waiting embrace.
I couldn’t let go, this person is my only reason for life
How can they come just to leave me?
Then they fade, I’m grasping at nothing.
Kneeling on the floor, bleeding my life away
It was all a vision, a mirage, fakes.
I lie down on the cold tiles
No one it calling. I am completely alone
I let out my breath and breathe again
But I will myself to stop,
To release my soul from this world
Instead I scream.