hope the end comes soon….

I don’t know why I am still alive. I don’t know why I am still here. I don’t want to live. Not anymore there is no point for me to be here. Michel left me. he knows I like him. He looked a little disappointed that I wasn’t out there, I don’t know why. I’m useless, well at lest Camron will talk to me. Yet he doesn’t seem to care, I don’t think anyone wants me happy anymore. I want to just die and be done with it all. Death is the only way out. Thomas is good to me. Joey is my best friend; I don’t want to lose Joey. I hate the word good bye. Why am I not use to it? I hear it all the time, once a day or more. Shitty life. FUCK THE DAMN WORLD. To know you are slowly losing it all. Can’t go outside with out scaring someone. The thoughts are all a blur now, most about death. Wanting my mother to die more then anything else. Best friend living thousands of miles away, wile the one that I like is kissing another. All my friends leaving one at a time, I’m sorry I am depressed but… I can’t hold on. There is no will to live so how can I? I don’t want to live; I don’t need to live. I just want to die.