How Can I Title an Emotion That Leaves Me Speechless?

Breathing, alone in the dark, no one hears me,
screaming myself senseless again.

I fell back upon my instinct,
and landed hard against my regret,
so here I am alone,
reaching -but not hard enough-
for strength.

Cold against the cement,
pale my skin looks in the pitch,
and I’m feeling so alone,
no one to hear me scream,
I’m wasted for no reason at all.

Forgive me for breaking down,
I left myself here to cry
-over and over I cry.

Rocking back and forth,
Hugging my knees close to my chest,
I realize where I am,
A decline on my worth,
But I can close my eyes,
And pretend I am just as secure as they are.

I hear the voices of the insight,
Of those who “feel my pain,”
And I feel even more alone,
Because they’re nothing like me,
They’re not what I need.

Constant pretending,
That I can find a better half of me.
Someone who I could care about,
Someone who could make me laugh.

I go to the window,
The dawn will come soon,
And I’ll be wasted then,
As I’m wasted now,
And the cement will still be cold.

By hallowqueen911

Once upon a time, there was a girl, who traded her tears for smiles each day. No excuse to hate her father, after all, he is a "functional alcoholic," no excuse to hate her mother, after all, she has all the good reasons for being a coward. When she wakes