how do i help?

i have this friend,(no this isnt one of those corny, im saying its a friend but its really me storys.) shes great, in fact shes probably one of my better friends, but she really has problems

i always get the feeling whenever we talk that the whole point of our conversation is her saying what i want to hear. like she never tells anyone the complete truth. shes also just recently been released from rehab and is trying to turn her life around, but i think some deep seeded problems wont let her. im trying to be a friend and support her but i always feel like i cant do a very good job because shes always hiding the truth. be it how she feels, or what shes done, just honesty in general, she wont give it to anyone.

By lepititemorte56

the time has come the walrus said to talk of many things, of shoes and ships and cieling wax, of cabbages and kings, of why the sea is boiling hot and whether or not pigs have wings.


  1. I know how it is haveing a friend who won’t open up to you, and you’ll try and try to get them to tell you what is actually going on in thier minds. But you can try all you want to, nobody will open up to anybody, unless they really want to.

    About you friend, it sounds like to me that your right about those deep rooted problems. The worst thing she can do is not open up to anybody about them, because the longer she stays closed up, the longer the problems are going to go on and they’re only going to get worse.

    She may not want to believe that these problems are still happening to her, especilly since she just got out of rehab. Have you tryed talking to her about what you see going on in her? If you haven’t and then you do talk to her about your feelings, she may not tell you the truth but at least maybe she might begin to consider that “just because she’s out of rehab, dosen’t mean that she is cured of her problems”.

  2. shes the girl i always party with, my mother said i was the gasoline and she was the match. so i just don’t want to see her get hurt. i will take heed of your suggestion and tell her honestly that i feel she is not open and i dont think its healthy, also that i will always be there for her. thank you fang.

  3. sometimes people need to sort out their problems. i for one, have to solve my own problems. sometimes it’s the only way to keep myself sane. i don’t want to rely on anyone (even when, maybe i should). if she doesn’t want to open up to you two things could happen 1. you leave her alone, yet be supportive and she may or may not tell you about them. or 2. you push and push for information and she spills only to hate you for pushing her. she’s only going to tell you what she wants you to hear. maybe she doesn’t want to burden you, maybe she doesn’t want to seem week.

    someone once said, love is fire, but whether it is going to warm your heart or burn your hand, you never know. until then use caution when you play with fire, and remember not to push her, it will only hurt her more.

    hope that she does choose to open up to you. best of luck to you both.

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