I am two people. There is a me the world sees and a me only I will ever know. Personality number one hates the thought of hurting others or herself, has perhaps too much empathy at times, is highly emotional and knows what she wants. Personality number two just wants to hurt. She wants to torture and kill, she wants to break all the rules and doesn’t care about others and what they think. One me has a place in this life, the other does not.
One is strong the other is powerful and exciting. One has a future, the other lives for the moment and to hell with consequences. One wants to live, the other doesn’t care about risking death, she embraces it. Are they both real? And it makes me wonder, if I hadn’t been raised in such a loving family knowing where I stand, would I be personality number two, and would I be happier? Would I even still be alive? Sometimes I feel restrained, I really have to keep the second me chained. I wonder how much it would take to break those chains. But it doesn’t scare me, because I have control over who I am. I have control… and I make my own destiny.
Nice. So why not intigrate the two sides of yourself? Why see one as good and the other as bad, they both have a part to play, they both have a use in the world. The thing is to find the best use for both in their places and in their times, when things need to be done. Too much of one side will always bring the opposite out, whether within the self, or in the outside world as the opposing force. It tries to make you see the road toward balance.
Okay first let me say wow…I feel like you put me into words. I am this (plus a personality or three). My problem is though I can’t always restrain myself from some personalities, but i also know they all must come out from time to time…i love it
Thankyou both for your comments. There are times when I want to let the second, crueler personality out, but I don’t think I could leash her again if I did. I can’t seem to integrate the two either, because the consequences of the the actions of personality two, just don’t go with the life goals of personality one.
Sometimes I almost wish I could have multiple personality disorder, like it’s some kind of excuse, but thats a horrible thing to think, so I’ll stop.
Thanks for the advice Voltarrens, but it’s not quite so simple. The second me is murderous, and I don’t want to risk that.
haha, i know how that feels. I have spilt personalities, haha, and I am even wearing my shirt that says, I have mulitiple personalities and WE don*t like you. Hahahaha, I call my other side Sarah. My bestfriend is Bi-polar and she said when she in her android mode she is Amber. I know the feeling of wanting to kill someone one minute then running back and saying you*re sorrie and you love them. Been there done that….don*t like it….Sarah almost got me put into jail…3…maybe 4 times…
see, a lot of people assume that they have more than one personality, which is extremey rare, i might add. listen: what happens is people have feelings and impulses they can’t explain and don’t really think they can stop, and so they “create” an outlet for these expressions. but that;s not the healthy way i htink. but i’m just a loose cannon, so i’ll stop now. don’t worry with it. time solves all problems.