I can’t even love this…

Walking alone down a crowded street. Her face is held down and her arms are crossed. She walks with no purpose, but seems to be going nowhere fast. People don’t give her a second glance, or even a first. No one is envious or proud of her. She is

just there. So on she walks, staying inside the little shell of hers

One day while looking down, she notices a small, stuffed, cute, teddy bear. She stops her walking, leans down, and tries to grab the bear. But the bear seems to flinch away from her grasp. Funny, she though, and tries to pick the bear up again. The

bear flinches again, as if her fingers are poison. With a sigh she gets up and starts walking again, thinking that a damn stuffed bear doesn’t even seem to care.

Lost in her thoughts, she continues on walking alone in the crowded streets. Every once in a while someone would bump into her. Leaving a small red mark upon her arm, which was left to linger for a while. But it always went away. She dreamed of

being noticed by someone, of someone to be envious of her. But she just didn’t know how.

As always, she is still walking. But someone stops in front of her, she nearly falls flat upon her face. She looks up, and sees the teddy bear that she had passed before, it was in the arms of a man. He thrust the bear towards her chest, with a force

so strong it knocked her over. As she fell she heard the man angrily say the words “Here is your fucking bear” And with that, he walked away. She stood up, and dusted herself off a bit. No one stopped to help her, some gave her a few puzzled or

disgusted glances, But it was nothing special. After she had collected herself, she bent over to try and grab the bear again. she thought “maybe this time I could hold him, just this time…after all it is just a stupid bear.” But as before, the bear flinches

ches from her grasp. And again, she bends over to try and pick up the bear….he flinches again. She began to get frustrated and tried time and time again to pick up the little bear, but time and time again he would always move away from her touch.

Finally she broke down.

Her normally bend head, looked up towards the sky. Her normally crossed hands, reached up and clutched her head. The knees that kept walking, collapsed with great ease. She sat alone in the crowded street only inches away from the bear that she

could not touch. She began to rock back and forth, tears were streaming from her face.

She screamed at the bear. Why can’t I have what I want? all I want is a little attention, a little affection. Is that so hard? I can’t even get it from a damn stuffed bear, A FUCKING BEAR! Moans escaped from her. Then she slowly began to look

up, for a second time. and saw that people were looking down on her. she cried “what do you want?! why are you staring at me now that I am all alone?! before you never cared, when I need you, when I wanted you the most, you never noticed! but

now that I am on the verge, you come and gawk and me like I am some caged beast! all I wanted was to hold this bear, this fucking stuffed bear!!!! and now look what has happened. look what you see in me. you see me weak, you see me alone, you

actually see me. but I would rather have you see me as nothing, then pretend that you even see me at all. because you don’t see me” Slowly the people dispersed, finding no excitement in the lost girl anymore. After they had all left, she was alone in

an empty street. She began to cradle herself, the only thing that was left. And slowly she feel asleep with the bear she could not hold only inches away from her trembling body.