I have to leave now…

Why am I here? I don’t remember anymore… How can I stay here, locked in this room when it’s driving me mad. And I knew I’ve always been a little…eccentric–crazy even, but now I believe I may truly be going insane! They’ve grounded me; locked me inside my little box. But it’s alright because it’s my box filled with my things…it’s cozy; it’s dark. But now I talk to the things in the air, more so than before. And my other voice is stronger now, yet it’s still me. In my head I see the emerald cliff and I scream…oh so loud. And I love it! Goddess, if you’d only let me scream, let me be a part of the night again! I don’t know what to do. Before, I knew why I stayed “good”, knew why I had 4.0s and stayed away from drugs and sex and what not and so fourth. It was so I could get out; easy ride, one step closer to my one-way ticket. Yeah. But now… Hell, maybe I like it! What is it to them anyways. They love me. But I don’t want them to love me… Isn’t life ironic? How can you not laugh? HA! All I want is to be gone; I don’t care where or with who, just not here…not here. And not with them. I hate their love for me, because it holds me here. And because my love for them makes me hate them. What am I to do when all I have left is my sanity…but now I’m not sure if I even have that. My mind’s gone; it’s not mine anymore, they’ve made sure of that. And I let them, dammit I let them! Because that was the only way I knew for sure I would get out. But now I can’t, and nothing’s sure, nothing ever is, though. I supose now I can either run…or stay here. And I think I fear more what would happen if I stayed, rather than face the ultimate unknown. What would you do? Stop it! Nonononononono. I HAVE TO GET OUT! Let me go, Diana, let me be in the sea…under the moon…night. Let me think, just think. No questions asked. Don’t ask questions. And don’t save me.

By Clouded Silver

What the hell am I suppose to say about myself? No one knows me...I barely know me. But feel free to talk to me alone; it just seems awkward trying to talk to myself...not that I don't do it already.