I need some closure. I have a story. If you want to read it. Here it goes.
Call me Jewelz, my friends do. I’m not sure what to do. I was with this guy, call him James. We had a great realationship, I loved him so much. We were always together. I’ve had lot’s of boyfriends but i have never felt closer to anyone and more comfortable around someone than with him. He was my first for a lot of things,… my first prom, my first time to get along with a guys family, even my first sex. He was very special. But,he had his faults. James had a bad temper, ..he was rude to all my friends, none of my friends like him ( which is really important to me because i don’t associate a lot with my real family, so my friends are kinda like my family ) He never would/ could admit he was wrong, and he was very posessive.
At one time, he got in a wreck and totaled his car one nite. Afterward he tried to blame it on me. He said that he was mad at me and thats why he was speeding and not paying attention. He did everything to make me feel sorry for him. ….i didn’t work.
Well, I had a lot going on in my life. I had cheerleading, fighting with my family, moving in with my best friend, trying to switch schools, and i couldn’t handle all the stress. I just got fed up with him trying to control me and telling me what i could and couldn’t do. So I dumped him. After that i felt so relieved. I could focus on the things that were really important in my life. Like getting through school and family stuff.
A few months later, i met this wonderful new person, we’ll call him Guy. Guy was like the perfect guy. He was sweet, careing, and very cute. He would do ANYTHING for me. He practically worshiped me. He wouldn’t even argue with me. If we started to argue, then he would jsut say ” ok, your right”.
Well things were going great in my life. I was doing good in school, I had gotten my best friends mom to adopt me so I oculd get away from home and i was getting in to cheerleading and church etc. Well, I knew I didn’t want a serious relationship. I didn’t have time for it, i didn’t need it. …but i guess it just happened. Well, things were going great. Guy would bring me places, we would go to the movies, my friends liked him, my family liked him, he went to church with me….it was great.
Then all of a sudden things started getting serious, he started doing things that i didn’t like and i knew i didn’t need in my life right now. I tried to tell him. ” Guy, look i really like you but i need my space, just back off for a while” but for some reason he just seemed to not understand that. He kept telling me he loved me and asking when he could see me again and showing up at all the games where i was cheerleading, he even came to my school! ( he doesn’t go to my school) Well, I was telling him to back off and he said ” Does that mean we’re broke up? ” and i was just so sick of it I said ” YES! ”
So that was it, i was single again. He was fighting with his parents at the time so he moved in with a friend and stayed and one of MY friends house a lot. He got her feeling sorry for him and she got mad at me and started fighting with me. One of my best friends! Then he called one of my other friends mom’s and told her that she was skipping school when she was not! She was at school with me all day! So all my friends started hating him too.
Well, a few weeks later. I was bringing my friend to a college class she was taking and i saw James. It was sooo great to see him. I had really missed our long conversations, where we would talk about anyting and everything. Before i knew it, i was seeing Chris again. I would him at the mall, go to the movies, go to his house. But all my friends still dispise him, and so i can’t tell them. I feel really bad about that but i love my friends and i dont want them mad at me right now. They almost are familly and they tell me what they think about everything i do, and well, I couldn’t deal with it.
Well, that’s where i am now. I am seeing James, but I’ve told him … ” i am not and will not have a serious realatinship untill i finish my classes in 4 months. I will call you, you can e-mail me and we can even go out sometimes, but i am NOT yours, you are not mine and i’m not getting serious with you ok” and he seems ok with that. I call him almost every nite now. My friends still do no know. I dont know hom much longer i can keep it from them. I’m still doing good in my classes and things are pretty good i guess. I guess i should tell my friends… what do you think
If you want to give me some feed back you can E-mail me at Honee204@hotmail.com
put in the subject “Closure”
I would love to hear from you
thanx for listening to me. I really had to get all of that off my chest.
alwayz
Jewelz
I don’t know what you mean by looking for closure. Anyway, you seem to have a pretty good handle on what you are doing, just keep doing it. You’ll know what to do when you are ready to do it. As for your friends, well, they’re your friends and they should respect your decisions unless you are doing something harmful to yourself, and you don’t seem to be doing that.
i know how you feel i’ve been living with a control freak for 13.5 months and he hasn’t allowed me to see any of my friends then 2 days ago he ped and left i’m toatally alone now. my friends all gave up on me and now i sit alonew in my flat in a city i barely know. i miss him but more than anything i miss the company. i have nothing but my ideas of him to cling to. many of which i’m sure aren’t real. i need closure from him so that i can move on with my life. any way. sorry about that little rant Span XOX