– If Only –
Staring at the bitter unforgiving snow
I watch with indifference
As it floats down to cover the earth’s surface
Until it’s all I can see
The truth well hidden under its layers
Tears stream down my cheeks, burning my already hot flesh
Unknowingly, I slowly tear away at my sanity
Using self-loathing and pity as my weapons against myself
I siphon my anger from my thoughts to my hands
Gladly trading physical pain for emotional torture
I wonder how one could be as cold and unforgiving
As this unending blanket of white enveloping the earth
And after such a warmth
How they could so quickly cover it up
And force themselves to doubt it was ever there
Feeling shoots up my arm
More pleasing than destructive
I welcome it, relaxing a little
My thoughts start to numb
I smile – for I know the snow will melt in time
If only pain could melt away as easily…