In Dreams/Holocaust for the Blind:: Jade

in dreams i see me lying on the floor
pick me up from the grave and shake me hard wake me up from this
comotose things i can’t remember coming back to me now as i stand
here cold from animosity seething it breathes just under my skin

fueled by the fire of torment and hate and anger and vengeance,
injustice and rape talk of a man who no longer lives and no longer
saves me he no longer gives hopes and prose and shadows and dreams
see my face and i hear your screams silenced once and forever more in
dreams i am the one you adore
in dreams i feel the spear rip through me without a tear i
feel so vulnerable in this place as i invision your face and conjure
up the dragons….. as they fly… they wrap their wings around your
heart burned by the flame kiss my pale rose lips and you’ll see you
weren’t the woman you used to be never were never wish upon a star in
dreams that were once close to you, but now seem far
in dreams i taste of the bitterness that holds you in its grasp mark
my words and knock on my door and i never hear the rasp can’t feel
the shreds as they fall from my heart and break my every thought i
start to take but cannot give in dreams i’m flying but cannot live i
listened to every damn word you say but dare not speak in this bed i
lay and twist and rip the silken sheets in dreams where godliness and
vanity meet
in dreams i swim in the sea of blood cast like a mercenary on the
hunt for the richer things he covets he cannot have you wanted me and
i wanted you once, but never gave in to my tempting the devil is near
listen closely and I?ll whisper in your ear he takes my life, my
stigmatized hands weakened by hunger and every burning umber that
consumes me as he fucks me up the ass take a number and have a seat
and you’ll get your chance to meet he’s not the type that likes to
wait so you better fucking participate in dreams I try to annihilate
everything that is animate
in dreams when I starve to be nurtured and well and suffer the worst
of my most private hell and I can’t stop shaking or writing with
quills as I hear the shrieks from the other realm so shrill so faded
so far off… and think and bite my lip and say in dreams of amber
fields I lay and pray to nothing and no one no where deny a thing
that isn’t there never was never will never wish upon a star to shed
tears for a lost soul a kindred spirit a heart of clay
in dreams of the Morrigan and the Fey they quiver they shiver as we
pray (in your own time and of your own accordance) for someone
who cannot be saved

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Blindly grasping at theses shadows to find a solace you never felt It
drifts upon the precipice and shines like gold like a beam like a
child sleeps so soundly yielding sweetest dreams catched by the wind
upon a flame of the skeletons in your closet with out a name this
life is a holocaust you must survive this is a joke and we are its
game never surrender to pride never die never say these things that
bring the tears to your eyes and the blood rushing to your head with
sweaty palms never sing those psalms that rasp your voice so
turbulent in their sweetness as you watch the flames dance put your
heart in a trance open up your mind and let them in burn your
thoughts all up inside carry the cross on which you died never shy
you always put your best face foward put your foot in first testing
the waters that heal all things and the ones who thrive upon it never
surrender the hope they dream and chant of a thing unforeseen and
search relentlessly to find your piece puzzle cannot be solved and
take up this armor and shield this place don the mask upon your face
and flirt with disaster as it seals your fate falling through the
cracks and into the stars cover yourself with the night it hides all
your scars it suits you well you wear it like a cloak around your
presence so looming so great wait for me a the iron gate this
holocaust i play victim in is almost thr’gh a holocaust of time that
heals my wounds