The very first night that he visited me, I lay huddled in a foreign bed, curled up against the world and willing my heart to stop. My love had abandoned me, turned me out of the home that we had made warm together into the cold void of the streets.
Clutching the small suitcase of clothing and personal items I couldn’t bare to leave behind, I had wandered to this hotel in the rain. Without bothering to so much as remove my saturated clothing, I flung myself on the bed to pour out my misery onto the dingy pillowcase. I should have seen it coming. We had both changed so much over the years. We barely talked anymore. He stayed out later and later, forgoing coming home in the later weeks.
I lingered somewhere between sleep and wakefulness as the storm rolled over me. I imagined I could see right through the cracked and water-stained ceiling and up into the tumultuous sky. The heavens were seething like waves, a thousand angels crying with me. I barely twitched as the latch on the door clicked open. Almost in slow motion my head turned towards the door. My limbs felt as heavy as lead, I felt as though I were sinking into the mattress.
He stood in the doorway, silhouetted by the storm. His hair was plastered to his face with rain and his tall, lean form was sharply outlined by the way his drenched clothes hung from it. His deeply set eyes seemed to burn out from beneath the fall of his hair, locked on my own gaze. He wore a plain black button down shirt with a collar and a pair of pants at seemed to match the linen-like material. He was barefoot.
“Can I come in?” He asked. His voice was soft, faintly accented with something I couldn’t quite place. Though the storm raged violently, and he was across the room, he may as well have had his lips pressed to my ear. I had no trouble hearing him. No, my insides said. Go away leave me alone. I tried to tell him to leave, but I couldn’t get my jaw working. Tears welled up in my eyes once more as the words “I don’t want to be alone” rose up and out of my constricted throat.
He stepped off the threshold onto the threadbare carpet and quietly closed the door behind him, turning the latch once more. For a moment, we just looked at each other. Myself, pinned to the bed like a butterfly on a board, and he, motionless but the door, water dripping from his clothes with a rhythmic “pat”, his facial features outlined in blue light intermittently and lightening streaked across the sky. His face seemed harsh in the violent light, though not frightening. If anything, he seemed a little uncertain.
I swallowed hard; realizing something wasn’t right here. There was a certain scent in the air. Something very faint and elusive that I couldn’t quiet name but it was making my head swim just slightly. Why wasn’t I upset that this man had just walked into my hotel room? I certainly had never seen him before, why wasn’t I screaming bloody murder? Why wasn’t I at least trying to get away?
Mostly because he wasn’t really acting very threatening. He stayed where he was by the door as I attempted to clear the gathering fog from my brain. He was staring at me intently and I felt my pulse surge through my body. A distracting throb made itself unmistakable between my thighs and I instinctively clenched them. The action seemed to cause the corners of his lips to curl up in a small knowing smile. My breath caught at the sight of it and my vision swam briefly. My eyes widened and he very slowly moved towards me. His movements were fluid and cautious as though he wasn’t entirely certain that I wouldn’t jump up and start to scream. He crouched at the foot of the bed and reached out to take my face between his hands. I felt his breath cool against my cheek before his lips brushed mine with the barest touch. My reaction was immediate, as though electricity arched from his mouth to mine, causing all of my muscles to tighten. I sighed softly and his lips returned, his tongue slipping into my mouth. He tilted my head back and kissed me so completely that I tingled to my toes. His hands trailed lightly from my tear-streaked cheeks down my neck to rest lightly on my shoulders. He slid his hands under the sodden fabric of my jacket and pushed it back from my shoulders. As he kissed me his fingertips raised goose bumps on my upper arms and across my collarbone.
I would have gasped when one of his thumbs grazed one of my hard nipples through the thin cotton of my tank top but I still didn’t seem capable of forcing the oxygen from lungs, or in for that matter. He moved his lips to my ear then and murmured one word.
“Breathe.”
With that single command I drew in a ragged breath and it escaped as a sob. His blue eyes fastened on mine with an expression of deep understanding in their depths. Without taking his eyes from mine his hands lifted me to kneel on the bed and he knelt with me. His hands drifted down my back and up my sides, drawing my wet shirt up and over my head. He dropped it on the floor behind him before placing his hands on my hips, dipping his head to kiss me again. As though under water, I lifted my hand to touch his cheek, mostly out of curiosity. His skin was soft and cool to the touch and very pale. When he pulled back from me I could see the faint blue veins in his eyelids as they drifted down, the fan of dark lashes resting on his cheeks.
My hands trembled slightly as they fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, causing his almost shy smile to return. I slide the garment from him and he let it fall behind him as my gaze traveled over his torso. There was no body hair to speak of and he was very lean. His ribs stood out starkly and his belly was flat below them. My fingertips trailed down on of his sides to rest on the blunted point of his hipbone. He deftly unhooked my bra and paused to look at me as though looking for permission before removing it. A blue fire seemed to kindle in his eyes as he looked at me then. He buried one hand in my hair, long damp strands weaving around his long fingers as his other arm went about my waist to pull me tightly to him. My breasts crushed against his chest as he tilted my head back, kissing me deeply and with no small amount of passion. I whimpered deep in my throat as greater warmth spread slowly through my body. A tremor ran through me on the heels of that warmth when he broke the kiss, his mouth finding the rapid pulse in my throat. He eased me backwards and his hand found my knee, slowly traveling up the inside of my thigh beneath my skirt. He growled deep in his throat as he bit me where my neck meets my shoulder. Demonstrating a strength that you wouldn’t think possible to look at him, he tore away my panties, exposing me. With one hand on my side he heaved me onto my stomach and leaned down on me, one hand on the small of my back. I cried out in surprise and tried to squirm out from underneath him. I felt him fumbling with the tie on his pants; effortlessly pinning me to the mattress before his other hand joined the effort.
He pulled me back, lifting me to my knees. I went ridged as I felt him press against me. He wasn’t cool any more but nearly hot as he pressed his hard cock against my ass. Though my mind was still heavily wrapped in the fog, I was afraid now but still strangely excited. I knew I was wet and that he’d have no trouble pushing into me. All in one moment I realized I wouldn’t be able to fight him off, and he thrust into me. I felt that first penetration all the way to my bones. My body parted and rebelled against me, my hips lifting and my back arching to make it easier for him. His fingers dug into my side as he pulled almost entirely out of me only to thrust in even harder than before. I moaned as he made a deep sound of satisfaction, his hips thrusting into me again and again, faster and harder. His nails raked over my back and my sides.
Something snapped inside of me then. Something that wanted this all along, needed it. I bucked back against him, grinding into him. Sweat was slicking my skin and his fingers slipped over it. He knew it was all right, he no longer needed to hold me, and I was determined to match him. He fell over me; his arms wrapped around my body, burying himself deep inside of me and making small fast thrusts. My fingers clenched the blanket as my muscles tensed. He was getting louder and louder and I couldn’t help but answer each one of his cries with one of my own. My orgasm exploded through me, forcing a scream out of me that was muffled in the bedding. My internal muscles clamped down around him, spasming around him. His arms closed around me like steel bands and he bucked against me one last time before one last loud triumphant yell. I felt his forehead press between my shoulder blades. His breath was ragged on my skin.
Distant lightening flashed to light up the room as he let me straighten my legs and we sunk to the bed as one body. The fog in my mind deepened as what was left of my coherent thought fled with the echoes of my orgasm. I could still feel him throbbing inside of me and I felt the presence of this stranger was oddly comforting on the island that was the bed. The rest of the world faded away even as consciousness did and I managed to find the sleep that I thought would never come.
The noon sun woke me the next day to a room that was as empty as when I arrived. I slowly sat up, feeling the ache in my muscles and the bruise on my shoulder where he had bit me. I glanced down at myself to find, to my surprise that I was fully dressed. Even the panties that had been ripped the night before were intact and I was still wearing them. There was no sign of my mysterious visitor of the night before, other than the marks on my body. I sat on the bed for a long time, my fingers traveling over the bruises on my thigh and the red crescent bite mark on my shoulder that I could see in the mirror across from the bed.
What happened? I couldn’t have dreamed it all, I could feel his presence on and within my body still, and yet… To this day, I have no answer.