Jasmine and Talena; Gone…

Curled up in a tight ball, Jasmine had her fingers intertwined in her hair. Nails were digging into her scalp, and pulling at her hair as System of A Down blasted from the speakers of the stereo.

Caterin was somewhere. Jasmine didn’t know where, and frankly she hoped that she never saw Caterin again. It was just too emotional for Jasmine to handle.

She was lying in that small bed, where Caterin had first touched her. In that cold room, beneath all the other floors of Caterin’s aunt’s house, and she was alone. She liked it that way, and yet she hated it.

Her body wracked with pain and ensued by it she shook with emotion. Tears would have been streaking down her pale cheeks had she been able to cry. Jasmine had never known how to cry…or at least she did not remember what tears were like coming from her eyes. She did not know how to cry, but she wished she did.

Tears were would have freed the mind from pain. It was true…and she knew she would never be free of this. Clinging to her self in hopes of wrenching the grief and sorrow and anger from within her, shivered.

Memories of the past days flew into her mind, and with struggle they fought to win her over.

Caterin let Jasmine alone when they reached her house. She didn’t want to touch Jasmine, and she wouldn’t even look into Jasmine’s eyes. Jasmine was smart and fled from this girl who was now Caterin. This girl that was different from the girl she had met and fallen in love with, but not too different to feel inflicted by her.

She barely talked to Jasmine, and this only made Jasmine quieter. Soon Gabe was to come over. Caterin was going to give him his birthday present.

Gabe was a Caterin’s boyfriend. Gabriel, a sweet Christian boy with blond hair and ice blue eyes. He was lean and tall with a childish sense of humor. He was also a Bible beater, and a man who believed in male dominance. He was the complete opposite of Caterin, but Caterin loved him. And Gabe loved her back, or what he knew of her. Because Gabe was homophobic, Caterin had not told him of her girlfriend, though Jasmine knew of him.

She was also aware of the rules when he came over. (No letting Gabe realize that I’m with Caterin. No leading on that I’m bisexual. No getting jealous because he is her boyfriend and I agreed to that.) These were not unspoken though. Caterin had made it very clear she did not want Gabe to know of her relationship with Jasmine. Jasmine also walked on eggshells when it came to her reputation, and tended not to inform people of her love life.

Jasmine knew he was coming and sat on one side of the couch with her book. She kept her eyes pinned on the words and refused to look up for any reason other than when her name was uttered. It was hard because it hurt Jasmine to hear Caterin’s giggles, and to know that Gabe had his arms around her. She was an extremely jealous creature, but she would not show it.

“Jasmine, come sit over here and watch Lord of The Rings with us.” Caterin called teasingly to her. She placed the book down slowly and moved over to where Caterin sat. Jasmine was slightly perturbed, but still kept her eyes away from the couple. She glued her eyes to the screen and refused to watch as Gabe’s hands fluttered across Caterin’s exposed skin.

Getting a wicked smile on her face Caterin slipped her hand into Jasmine’s and held it. Automatically Gabe became aware and started to kick at Jasmine’s feet. Jasmine looked at Caterin, and just started to laugh. Though it hurt her in a way to have Caterin touch her now…just to spite Gabe, it was highly amusing to watch Gabe become SO protective.

Caterin’s songbird laugh wafted into the air as Gabe put his arms around Caterin in a protective shield. Jasmine shrugged and closed her eyes as she scooted to the edge of the couch.

Soon it grew dark and Gabe wasn’t able to ride his bike back home. Caterin’s aunt said she would take him if he wished, and Caterin decided she would go which obligated Jasmine to ride in the car. She spoke nicely and held a decent conversation with Caterin’s aunt. Half way through the car ride Gabe and Caterin started making out. Jasmine might have died had Caterin’s aunt not called out teasingly to see Gabe’s hands. He was so flustered by the request he didn’t touch Caterin for the rest of the ride. Though, Jasmine was happy, she didn’t talk to either of them.

A prolonged hug was given to Caterin as Gabe walked up the porch of his house; his bike thrown aside on the gravel of the driveway he opened the perfect white door and waved at the car as we drove away.

When we go back home a sickness over came Caterin that made Jasmine sick to her stomach. She had hoped things would be absolved this evening, but to no avail. Unhappy she was about the situation Jasmine, healer by nature, sat down beside Caterin and continued to be girlfriend, and friend to her.

Caterin looked at Jasmine and didn’t understand as she watched her anxiety. Was it because Jasmine cared, or because she just wanted to get with her in bed tonight? Caterin was confused, but as another wave of nausea hit her she lost all other thoughts in her mind but to control her body. Jasmine had a cup of tea for her and held her head as she whimpered. Caterin felt sick and tired and all she wanted to do was sleep.

Jasmine tried so hard to help Caterin feel better, and climbed up the stairs at 9 to lay next her while she closed her eyes.

Jasmine squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her fists. There was nothing she could do to block out the rest of the memories. She hated them, and wished she was different. Some part of her wondered if what Caterin said had been true.

Jasmine put her hand around Caterin’s hips and waited silently for her to fall asleep. All she wanted now was to rest with Caterin next to her. This didn’t happen.

In the room filled with night air from the window beside the bed, the two girls huddled under the sheets. They were midnight blue sheets, flannel and soft, with golden stars and moons on them. The two shapes beneath the covers melted into one as Caterin leaned back into Jasmine.

Jasmine’s hands shook. (Jesus fucking Christ, this is what happens when you play with magic. Fuck me! I should never have let this happen.) The slightest touch awoke feeling within Jasmine that made her blood pump and heated her skin until she felt like her skin was boiling. (Caterin, stop, don’t do this…please.)

“Jasmine…” Caterin’s voice was quiet, but there was need within it, hidden beneath the surface. Jasmine hated and loved Caterin at that moment. She ran her hand across Caterin’s stomach and up to her breast. “I ca-can’t do any-thing tonight back.”

Jasmine sighed, but quickly brought Caterin to a climax. Just touching her made Jasmine’s heart ache. She wanted nothing more than to see that love reflected in Caterin’s eyes. Just to know that Gabe wasn’t better than her. Sure he was a virgin, and Caterin never went further than kissing with him, but the way Caterin’s eyes lit up when she looked at him made Jasmine’s soul fill with tar. The tar was still there, and since Caterin wouldn’t look at Jasmine, Jasmine knew something was wrong.

Caterin licked her lips and pressed her hands into the sheets, blue mixing with pale white, and she whimpered this time in contentment. She rolled over with a small apology to Jasmine, and fell asleep.

Jasmine’s eyes were pinned to Caterin as she slept, and she lay there, eyes dull with hurt. Nothing could have swift away that hurt except Caterin, and it was worse than the feeling of non-release she had too. (I’m lying here staring at her, and I’m too turned on to make my eyes close. I’m too hurt to fall asleep with the fears of being haunted in my dreams by her.)

“Jaz, your dad’s here.” Jasmine opened her eyes. She turned over and flung her self up. Then with one look at Caterin she walked up the stairs to grab her bag.

“I’ll miss you Caterin.”

“Your only going off to boarding school Jasmine, it’s not like your leaving forever.” Caterin said bluntly to Jasmine. Jasmine smiled a weak smile and shrugged. She hugged Caterin with heavy arms and walked out the door.

As the red car speed away Jasmine couldn’t help but look out the window at Caterin. But Caterin wasn’t there. She had already walked down the stairs to play a video game. Maybe Zelda or something of that sort.

By ChildofDeath

A little gothic girl going to a boarding school.