Just a little bit on my mind

Hey, I don’t expect anyone to really read this. It’s not poetic or anything, I just needed to let someone know how I’m feeling, and vent a little bit, hell it probably won’t even get posted, but if your reading it hey I guess it did.-Rachel
For the first time yesterday, I realized how short life is, and how true the statement; you never know how much you love someone till there gone is. Yesterday I found out my Grandpa is dying. We’re all dying from the moment were born, but he’s not supposed to go yet. He’s supposed to see me grow up, graduate highschool, get married. See my babies that I’ll probably never have anyways. He has a malignant tumor the size of a cantelope in his lung. He’s been a smoker all of his life, and ironicly…so am I. I want to have more time more than anything in the world. I just really got to know him last year, and I love him so much. He’s hilarious and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to laugh as loud once he’s gone. I walked in the hospital and he was getting oxygen therapy, he’s so skinny, it makes me so mad. All the good people get taken too soon. hell that’s why I stopped believing in god. Well that and , it’s a long story. Anyways….I don’t wanna have the last week or month, or however long be like this. I don’t want my memories of him to be, in a hospital looking like shit, as the cancer eats away at him. I don’t want him to be remembered that way damnit. The last thing I said to him as I hugged him was I love you. So I guess if that’s the last thing I ever say to him and the last thing I ever heard from him, that’s alright. but I wish I had more time, so he could get to know me better, and so on and so on. I don’t wanna sound like a preacher, but enjoy the time you have with people cause lifes a bitch and when it’s your time it’s your time.shit not telling you people anything you don’t already know. I just had to talk about this to someone, anyone.
So if you read this, thanx for listening. ~Rachel