What I am is what I feel
But what I feel is nothing real
Am I alive or is it a dream
Do I exist or just seem
Was I a mistake, should I not have been
Was it something unclear and not seen
Suicide maybe, would be the way
Not living, not caring about today
This is a dream this isn’t real
For I’m numb, I cant feel
Not alive, eternally dead
“not right in the head”
Should I be? Is there a right
Dark deception, kills the light
I cant see through the mist
Living here not wanting to exist
Living in fear, dark, and lies
Every day a new part of me dies
Look but still not find
Wanting to be in front, but still behind
Color blind I must be
For the lively colors I cannot see
Pink is passion and love is red
My feelings are not there, gone, dead
You cant see that though, not yet
It will be seen soon enough, don’t fret
IM hiding u cant see me
IM still trapped, not yet free
Who am I kidding I never will be
But you don’t know that, you can’t see
Maybe u can u just don’t want to
My understanding, compassionate days are through
IM not your lil angel no more, not again
Yes I know “I remember back when”
Now I don’t care, IM sorry I don’t
You want me to understand, not anymore, I wont!
U don’t understand me, why should I pay attention to you
U never seem to play attention to a damn thing I do
U think IM so good, u don’t even know
IM smart I don’t let it show
This day is black my existence is fake
I played innocent for your sake
Lies and stories is what I am known by
If you knew the truth you’d probably cry
I’m not happy anymore
I’m just a shut and locked door
You cant see inside, under or around
You cant hear one damned sound
Oh well that’s ok I’m ok with that now
I was happy, oh really, I want know how
I’m not anymore, I don’t think I ever was anyway
I can’t ever remember a happy day
One I wanted to be in
One free from lies and sin
Oh well black and dead is what I feel
For you see, IM just an image, IM nothing real