I stare out my window at people walking by and realize none of them are like me. When night falls and people sleep I slip out of the front door.
Knowing that because i am 13 mom would lecture me about leaving the house at night. I walk out back to the dock and sit down on the wood. For A moment I breathe heavily then relax and lay down on the wood. The smell of ocean water behind me. Every Night as if set in stone my eyes automatically lock on the moon. I always say something yesterday i said this:
“Moon of my heart,
Moon of my soul,
Realize my pain tonight.
Moon of my heart,
Moon of my soul,
Let me love tonight.
Moon of my heart,
Moon of my soul,
I will be with you someday.
I watch the moon for another hour then walk back up to the apartment and start feeling better. I then sit down and write a love letter to my boyfriend. And Then i write poetry. Sometimes I post it on here sometimes i don’t. I read things i shouldnt. I say things i shouldnt. I think things I shouldnt. And I love it. Disobeying the rules. Defying the laws of science. Drained of energy to move. I sit here and chuckled at the crude bitches that pasted me today and laughed and called me freak and Lesbo. I silently cry in my soul but shed a tear as i will not give them the satifaction. Knowing it would make them stronger and they would say it again. I get near the leader and Say “I am BI not lesbian”.They look at me and say “Same thing” I rolled my eyes “Whatever it is not the same thing I have a boyfriend. A lesbian doesnt have a boyfriend.” I could tell she wanted to hit me.Thinking they didn’t phase me. I walked to the trees i hid in so well because they always make a spot on the branches that was pitch black. even in the brightest sun. I cried two tears. I got up and wiped the tears away and walked to third period. Knowing it was my favorite class i walked at almost a running pace. I made it to the class first as always. I didn’t need my folder I had memorized I needed to know. It was Chorus the only place I had ever really found my salvation. When it came time to sing our songs for practice I sang my heart out loud and clear I sang my words with beauty. I hadn’t realized almost everyone was staring at me cause i had class because i had closed my eyes as tears were rolling down my cheeks. My friend grabbed hand and i opened my eyes and noticed everyone was in complete and utter silence and amazement. Then suddenly all the girls came up and hugged me. They all said how great i was. I simply said “Thanks I needed that right now.”. Then a girl that sat in the front row came up to the second row and kept me in a tight hug. I always said she was really pretty and she looked like a prep but she was nice to everyone. She didn’t care that i was goth since my dream was the same as hers and we had found that out we have been friends. I smiled and then as soon as 3rd period had come it was over. I went to lunch with my friends from that class. They werent goth except one of them who didn’t dress goth but she was wiccan blood. She had spell books and everything her mom had taught her some spells that they did together. After another lunch of sitting with my so called friends where the only words i had said to them were “Someone want my fries” usaully i liked school fries but today i didnt like them. I went to 4th period everything was normal. I did work. I talked back to the teacher because i hated the way he was always so happy he never yelled even once every person in that class thought he looked like steve erkel even their parents did. When he takes off his glasses he looks like a turtle. I always got a headache in that class because nobody listened and would yell. Finally the bell rings will he let us go NO! He has to talk to us first then finally he reales us by rows or he says have a nice day. And everyone runs of that room as other try to get in. 5th period my chat period. I call it that because that is the class i have with my boyfriend and the work is so easy when we even have work. Most of the time we don’t. There are others who dont even do the work and say it is a waste of time to do it after all it is just reading class. So i look at it read it over listen to the teacher for a moment then zone her out as i turn to my boyfriend who luckily sits right next to me and lean over he grabs my hand and leans towards me. We kiss. An innocent kiss. No tongue just one on lips and for that moment everything is perfect. I suddenly forgot about that remarks from that morning. He said something to a girl that sits in front of him the girl was a punk she was one of my friends and his. Whatever he said made her ticked. I looked at her angry face and started laughing. He looked at me and said he would bite me. I said so. he said it again started leaning in. Again I replied so. we did this for awhile until are mouths were and inch apart. I was about to kiss him until i realized. The girl whos name happened to also be my name was laughing. I said whats so funny. She had been watching us as we were coming close to each others face and still we were being cocky. I put my arm on his desk. He took it and bit it. I sat there biting my bottom lip as the pain surged up my arm then he stopped. I looked at it then said “That hurt….” He interruppeted me and said “Sorry” he took my arm back and started licking at it “You didn’t let me finish i was going to say That hurt thanks for the pain. But I like that licking of yours to.” still laughing the girl sitting in front of him watched him lick my arm. Because I am one of the most trusted people in my sixth period class i have to leave 5th period early Me and the girl that sits next to me have to leave early and i always took one person from my fifth period. Usually I take my friend. But she just started going out with a person in that class too actually she was going out with my boyfriends bestfriend. So instead because i had just started going out with my boyfriend I took him. We have actually started going the day before that. I wanted to make out and i could tell be how he kept watching my lips he wanted to. But that stupid teacher of the 8th grade class just down the hall kept walking back in the room checking papers and walking to the office and then doing it again. I went through sixth period without him but sat in the back with my gothic friends. One of my goth friends was his ex-girlfriend but she was happy i was going out with him. She actually hugged me when she found out. I met him after the bell and near the buses i wrapped my arms around his neck he wrapped his arms around my waist. I smiled and said “Till tomorrow my little boy toy.” we kissed he smirked and said “Till then my little Serenity” *Serenity is my NickName* I walked on the bus and sat with a 6th grader who was my friend. Even as just a 7th grader I had alot of friends and alot preppy enemies. I said a silent YES! Then looked at my eyes in the bus mirror they were changing colors again. This morning they had turned a cloudy gray. They always do that when i am sad or upset. This time the turned a weird yellowy color. It was still dark even thought it was yellow. I looked at my goth friend who sat in the bus seat across. He freaked at my eyes cause they changed so fast he had looked at when he had gotten on the bus. And they were there normal blue. I loved it when i creeped it out because it was always so funny but hard. Then suddenly watching him freak out made me laugh and they changed again he was still looked at my eyes as suddenly they changed to lime green. His eyes went large. And I simply said “Just another day.”
*~*~*~*~*~ Sorry for the length but it was the truth the truth is long~*~*~*~*~*~*~