kill me now

kill me now…..
don’t let me live another mintue.
i don’t want to see all the pain my loved ones go through.

i can’t stand to to see them in pain.
i want it all to go away!

but i know it won’t.
and i know i can’t stop the future pain that i know is coming.

why the fuck does all this shit have to happen to me and my friends?
what did we ever do to deserve this type of pain?
this much pain?

i know all we can do is be there for each other and sometimes we can’t even do that
it is all unfair.
we did nothing to anyone to deserve this much pain.

i can’t stand to live to see my friends waste away in all their pain.
i can’t stand to watch myself waste away in all my pain…..

i would kill myself but i could never put my friends though the pain of them hearing i killed myself
i even have friends saying that they would kill themselves and i could never go knowing that someone would kill themselves over me
so someone anyone just kill me now…….

to: megs, diana, shannon, gwen, shea, joey i love you guys…….
and i wish all the damn pain would go away…….
maybe some day it will be better…..just maybe…….