I feel so trapped. There are so many people around me who say they want to be my “friends”.How do I know who to trust?What if they just want to use me?
Im sure Im not the only one this happens to.But I feel totally, extremely alone. I dont want to bother people with my burdens.Ill help them with theirs, give them advice, but it just makes my life harder to deal with. I know it sounds selfish, and I can be.
Very few people ( if any) know the real me. I could never tell everyone my thoughts and feelings as it would push them all away.I hate this place so much, and sometimes wish i could get away, but I know suice of my mortal soul would only cause more pain and suffering for those I care about.Couldnt do that to them.
Bad area. Im in the middle of a war. Not just me, those around me.Just because we are different. Over a spilled drink? I hate townies. Most of them. They hurt too many people for no reason. Ive never wanted anyone to die before, but now i do. Too much unreasonable suffering, we just want to be with our own kind!
But then again, life is suffering. Ive had my share of deaths and pain. I know how hard it is.Everyday knowing death hangs over you.Its an escape. Its the goodbyes Ill hate.
Until then though Ill push through it, and rely on those very few I know I can.Everyone leaves eventually.
So fuck it.
Know what I mean?