[This note means alot to alot of people. It means alot to me, its about time that everyone read it[ it was addressed to “all of you”]]
“Writing from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainee.This note should be easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101. Curses over the years.
Since my first introduction to the ,shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I havent felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with really writing something for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things, for example when were back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins it doesnt affect me in the way it did freddy mercury who seemed to love and relish in the love and adoration from the crowd, which is something i admire and envy. The fact is, i cant fool you, any of you it simply isnt fair to you or me. The worst crime i can think of would be to pull people of by faking it and pretending as if im having 100% fun. Sometimes i feel as i should have a punch in time clock before i walk out on stage. Ive tried everything im my power to appreciate it, (and i do, god, believe me i do) but its not enough. I appreciate the fact thaat i and we have entertained a lot of people, i must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re alone. Im too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm i once had as a child. On our last three tours ive had a much better appreciation of the people ive known personally and as fans of our music, but i still cant get out the frustration, the guilt and empathy i have for everybody. There’s good in all of us and i simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad and the sensitive, unnapreciative, pisces, jesus man! Why didnt you just enjoy it? I dont want a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who is twice of what i used to be. Full of love and joy, passing every person she meets smiling is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point where i cant go on. I cant stand the thought of francis becoming the miserable, self-destructive asshole that ive become. I have it good, very good and im grateful but since i was seven ive become hateful to all humans in general.. Only because its seems so simpe for people to get along and have empathy, Empathy! Only because i love and feel for people too much, i guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the last years, im too much of an erratic, moody person and i dont have the passion anymore, and so remember: its better to burn out than to fade away. Peace, love, empathy (empathy is underlined) Kurt Cobain
frances and courtney, Ill be at your altar
Please keep going courtney
for frances
for her life will be so much happier without me
I love you, I LOVE YOU
[Kurt Cobain RIP Feb. 20 1967-Apr 5 1994]