last year, today.

The front of my brian has rotted out.
When i shake my head i can feel it move about, slam against the front of my skull.
And my insides are rotting too.
When i eat i feel the mass roll over and overin my stomach.
They call it lust, i call it heroin love.

Two grown children lost and just starting to get it. He stamps his feet and pulls on my arm. I hold his hand in public so he doesn’t get lost and alone.
He orders my food and buys me rockstars and cigarettes. He braids my hair and scribbles giberish on little pieces of paper then shves them n my pockets. I drew two dinosaurs fucking once, and put it on the fridge at his house.
We didn’t meet untill we had become the innocent children we are today.
A year ago our lives were equal, just on opposite sides of the bay.

Heroin: Needle scars, bruised arms and legs, open wounds, sunken eyes, dirt.
Speed: collected thoughts on cameras, scabs, bald spots, blotchy skin, dirt
Booze: vomit, dirt

While laying naked on the bed, in his arms, i began to think:
what was i doing a year ago today?

A year ago today i woke up for school, took a line of speed, shook my head and started to cook up my smack.
after shooting up and dealing with all that i went to school. Late. And everything i looked at seemed like a machine.
like everything was working on nuts and bolts and pulleys and levers and i could hear the rubber bands stretching in people’s jaws when they spoke and wheels turning when they thought. But at that point, i didn’t care.
And when i left school, and whatever time i felt it fit to do so, i walked to my dealer’s house, and entered the dirtiest place i will ever go to. He’s load me up for free because i had helped him out with his kid and x-wife and police and then i nod on his couch for hours.
When i was bored of this i’d go home, with my morning doses, and make things out of the garbage that was lying on the floor. pic at my face for a few hours and scratch at my scab infested scalp.

I have a bald spot on my head.
when i was born the doctor twisted me wrong and fucked up my back, he also pulled out all my hair folicles in a thumb print shape on the side of my head, near my hairline. there use to be a few hairs growing between the spot and my hairline, but i pulled them out one night on speed.
They never grew back.
And my back still hurts.