Darkness
As a child we are always afraid of the dark, we are afraid because we cannot see whether or not something unwanted is near, it’s human instinct. Even now in this day and age adults and children alike are afraid of what they cannot see, but it is particually adults who fear what they cannot comprehend.
Sometimes i find comfort in the darkness, perhaps its based on the idea that you cannot fear something you cannot see. I use to see the darkness as hiding something that i didn’t want, or need to see. Now, once again, I’m reverting to my childhood fear. This particular time in my life gives me the feeling that I am, in fact, being left in the dark by all those I love and hold close to my heart.
I see it as follows………… so here I am, I’m surrounded by people, the people who care for, they are illuminated and they can show me when danger is approaching, they can warn me from making fatal steps, they are circled around me, I am in the centre. But this is not how it is any more. those people have gradually been creeping backward into the depths of this place. And I am alone. Left in the dark. The darkness is so complete that i cannot tell whether or not my eyes are closed, I’m so scared of hidden threats that will silently crawl towards me. I cannot take steps foward just incase I am moving towards something morbidly malevolent that is bent on sadistic action. Utterly alone. I have no idea whats going on around me, I am unaware if it is true silence or deafness that causes the lack of sound. I’m terrified and theres no-one to comfort me, no wall to stand against, no corner to hide in. Out in the open unprepared for attack, like a rabbit running blind from a fox. a predator may be always there, hidden and always watching. I don’t know. Worst of all i do not know if anybody is out there, or if anyboby will ever find me here, alone in the black lonliness. Or perhaps I’ll just fade and become the darkness, become a peccant phantom. maybe I’ll just whither and die without ever knowing if they ever cared and why they left.
So here I stand. Left in the dark.