I sit there and listen to everybody complain. Some are complaining about there parents never letting them do anything. others are saying that there to mean b/c they never let them stay up past 12 p.m and others are complaing about there clothes or siblings.
topic:darkness
I sit there and listen to everybody complain. Some are complaining about there parents never letting them do anything. others are saying that there to mean b/c they never let them stay up past 12 p.m and others are complaing about there clothes or siblings. Everyone complains. Some are worse than others. But i just sit there and listen. I never complain. But many times i want to go and tell them off! They think there lives are hard? Try to live mine! But i don’t want anybody to feel sorry for me, just alot of times i want them to understand how good they have it! But i don’t say anything. Alot of time i’ll sit down with them and help them and listen to there problems. I’ll listen to them say how much of a bitch there mother is for not lettin them see a R rated movie, when my mom is miserable and every time her date doesn’t go right or she had a hard day at work, she comes home and beats the shit out of me and yells at me saying it’s my fault. That i never should have been born. Then i’ll listen to them complain about how they have to babysit there brother or sister for a few hours maybe once a wek and how it’s so unfare because they had plans, whenever the reason i can’t even have plans is because i’m constanly babysiting me little brother and sister. Taking care of them and making them breakfeast in the moring before school, (since my mother has already left for work, and we get up at 5 a.m, beacuse she’s a truck driver, which gives her even more muclses to hit me with) lunch for school, and a good dinner for everybody, including my mom, at night. helping them with there homework and listin to there prblems. and having to cover up all the bruses on my body since they still think that my mom is the best thing in the world and never would do anything like hit me.
And i’ll even listen to them talk and help them with problems such as wanting to kill themselves, and/or small scratches on the arm; when i constinly think about suicide and always want to kill myself but can’t for fear that if i leave, then my mom will turn on my brother and sister and beat them. and who would take care of them? So instead of fatel cuts at the wrist, i slash the shit outa my arm.
AND soooo much more.
But that doesn’t matter. Beacauce everybody in the school thinks that i have the best life ever just beacuse i’m beautiful. There always sayin that i’m so lucky because everybody likes me. well guess what. I’m so lucky that even my babysiter (him and his girlfreind) liked me when i was little. and my stepdad when i was in the 7th grade. (my mom divoreced him to) so yippy do da day to me everyone. Well just beacuse i’m beautiful and everyone want me and i smile and listen to peoples problems, doesnt mean that im the luckiest girl in the world.
But that doesn’t matter and i never say anything. I listen and i help beacuse i care about them. I care about my friends because my freinds are my family.
Besides..everyone needs someone to be “perfect”, to thinks there’s hope… everyone needs an..Illustion.
Dont they?
p.s
i also found out that i am adopted last month..(sorry to complain i just wanted to let some of this stuff out.
Thanx for taking the time to read.)
-Illustion
everyone is entitled to complain just because you get your problems of your chest does not mean you are not a good friend to those who matter and i understand exactly when you say your friends are your family
Yes i understand your problem!
When i was 7 years old we run away from my father and my mother allways had bring theyr boyfriends to home.
So what i’m was stupid yes..that true..
But when mums boyfriend had conflicts whit her…she like my father beats my whit heands..whit everything that they have in theyr hands..mother had beat my a lot of time.
She yelted that its my falt..i was along,i had so much pain in the weeks that i wanted run away..but stupid mum says to me”if you want to go away then go,i’m not holding you”!!
Then i fat no one understands,i had so much histerics days..even my brother starts beats me.And you know why??
Because my brother was like my fother who..just was pist of in everythey from the work.
My mom usualy stays at home,siting in the cheer and whach TV just to be relaxt from all people,but i in that moment was helping out her in home.
Mother was so laisy that i just start to wondering why i’m was staying in her home??
When mother was at home,she was so pissssst of that she grab my hears and whit big power hits on the wall..i had blood in my nose.So i was in hospital,but who cears mums was told to doctors that I exedently was hiting on the wall!!
But in many years i just was in shok cus i was araid that everyone gona hurt me again whit some thing..
But now i live whit my brother and mother,if my brother wasant here i just be goner..i just wrimeber the time when its all hapened..people says write the emotionals moments people don’t forget..
If my mother in my 15 years starts what she began fore 8 years then i just liev all that..but mom yells at me afturall but now i much stronger i yell at her to so she like a bitch lucks at me i say what i’m thinking of her..so she loses all power but i feel reveng when i yell at her..