Lord of Deception

The deception had been compelete, so well done that it had not been noticed at the time through ignorance and misunderstanding. It was so easy for him to hide behind that facade and make his complex and convoluted plans for control, his control of events and the atmosphere surrounding.

Now as I look back I wonder if he knew what he was doing all of the time. For sure he was imposing himself most of the time in very subtle ways that I could not see then as I did not know how all this worked and what his motives were. In reality, now looking back, his motives were for control to keep the ignorance and the blindness going. To keep me as a captive and away from the rest of the world.

Slowly friends disappeared. They knew what he was doing but never said anything, never fronted up to say he was this way…why, I have not found out. Maybe they felt they could not interfere. Others around me alluded to goings on, but as usual for that time I just ignored what was happening. In the end there were no friends left which left scars wtihin the self for being friendless later… for a long long time. That is how much he had imposed his view and psychological games. These were daily and in subtle ways through stories he told about others and the ones ‘he’ chose as friends.

Ignorance was not bliss, not here, not ever. Something deep inside myself would fight back every now and then, become insufferably despressed and inconsolable. And when the nervous break down came, he just made it worse and I saw no one at all in that time. Being a recluse was the order of the day in front of the TV, or burried in a book, hour after hour. Things stopped being done. Simple things like cooking became non-existant for me…

And even though I now look back, because I did escape all this, something was looking after me to get me out the only way it knew how. It was not pretty, and some would not have considered it a sane way to behave, but it was the only way out at that time, everything else had failed and this was it. Escape.

I still think back on all this, every so often find a little more about the “Lord of Deception’ and see a few more seeds of what he had done. Never do I want this again in life. Of what I know, this one person is worse today himself then he was when I was around, the universe has paid it’s own justice toward him.

Do I feel bitter, or resentlful about all this still? No. Why should I, it is so long past, I have learned a lot…I am thankful for that… and there is no need to hold on anymore. It is just the dust of the past.