a single leaf falls on the frozen ground
silence the loudest noise to be heard
deafeningly frigid wind rushing past
blowing the leaves around his black cloaked body
standing, waiting for something
although no one knows what
the tall boy with black and red hair standing
alone…always alone
wearing his Cradle of Filth shirt and huge pants
always he stands there in my dreams
he wont go away
saying what he has always said
on the black background on the frigid day
“I fucked you, and I will fuck you again,
I will fuck you until you love me.”
over and over again screaming
telling me I will love him
no matter what
it’s just too long
i cannot love for that long
it is his fault
that unthinkably violent boy
the boy that would be a man
wanting me to love him
my visage becomes that of a grimace
remembering the first time
the second…
the third…
over and over
his writhing body motions
all of his strength pouring into holding me under
keeping me from rising to the top of my dark emotions
never again
i dream of him
he consumes me
the man with the single peircing
the boy…
with the eyes that peirced my soul
his crystaline blue eyes staring right through me
oh no! foot fall
here he comes again
pray that the black door will not swing
on its pristine silver painted hinges
that the creak of the wood on the floor wont move toward me
but away
somewhere different, not here
let the boots stomp into another room tonight
dont let him take advantage again
twisting my raven hair
nervous and expectant
knowing where he comes
praying he will leave
i hear the screaming
heard the slap
oh cruel ficticious god
sending him here again
rays of light pour in onto my wan face
as the creak in the door sounds
standing in the doorway is the trench coat shadow
of the boy that would be a man
his face still red from the slap
walking in and closing the door
here he comes closer and closer
one step
two steps…
on me…again i dont want it…yet i say its ok
why do i do this time and again
allowing him to do this
he is hurt, and i am hurt
both of us hurt over one mothers slap
his mother slapping him
me staying here with him…
its his eyes fault
they pull me in
their melancholy sadness overtakes my senses
all i can taste, smell, feel, or see is him
his beauty, his love
the taste of his blood mingling with my own
a cold knife coming down on my skin
relief from the pain
setting me free
then comes the needle
the sweet needle that keeps me whole
together we dance with this fatal love
eternity we will love each other
even if we try to deny it…

By masked darkness

i live...i am anti government, anti EVERYTHING everyone stands for...i get online...i go to school...i dream of mass murder and serial killings...wat can i say...i live life through my past ...the end