I don’t really know what to list this under, because I don’t really want to define it. Everything in life might as well be in definitions and honestly – I just don’t want to try and define things anymore. I go to school, and I sit there. This is defined as “Learning” by the poeple around me. I suppose dealing with a bunch of idiots that aren’t focused on teaching and rather, are focused on trying to keep a bunch of kids quiet could be considered “learning how to deal with bad teachers who don’t really care about you”, but I’d rather just leave it undefined. Because honestly, that title for the definition is sort of depressing.
I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve stopped trying to understand where all the insane people in the world are comming from and where all the sane ones have gone. I hear people say “it’s not good to be sane”, but aren’t we just labeling outselves insane so we wont have to share the same definition as the “sane” people. I mean, I guess I’d be considered insane but I don’t exactly go around killing people.. so how insane can I really be? I sit in school, and I think my thoughts. I sometimes read manga, or look at art books. I sat in school and finnished LOST SOULS by Poppy Z. Brite for the second time because I was so bored not learning anything that I had to bring a non-school book with me. This is what I’m learning – how to ignore people. I get in trouble alot at school, but it’s not like I’m doing anything wrong. My friend Yarely handed me a picture of her ex girlfriend to look at (fully dressed, thank you) and I got in trouble for “not paying attention”. Shit, if THAT was a real reason to give someone detention then everyone in my Chem. class would be expelled by now! Equally amusing was the fact that right next to me someone was talking on his cell phone and across from me someone was eating (both against school rules). It’s funny because the teacher that sent me to the office for the “serrious offence” was spanish as were the two other offenders who did not get caught… and I happen to be white. Now I’m not racist. I have spanish friends, black friends, white friends… I’m not the type of person who’s into racial slurrs, nor am I the type of person who skuttles around the subject of calling a very dark skinned person “black” because I think it sounds racist.. so I didn’t really expect to be descriminated against. I do things like draw burning crosses in my notebook when they force me to go to mass (I was forced to go to a catholic school, and yes – I’ve tried to get out of mass before). I do things like talk back to teachers when I know I’m being treated unfairly. But when a person with a free mind goes to a school that has rules like “no using whiteout” and “no speaking your mind even if your thoughts aren’t really offensive” and “no looking at photographs your friends hand you in class”, I tend to get a little bitter.I mean, what did a photograph and some whiteout ever do to be considered bad? Anyway.. I guess I just had to vent about that. Sorry if I wasted anyone’s time.