my darkness

I sit alone at night waiting, hoping, praying for the strength to press harder and end all the suffer and torment in my mind.
If only he hadn’t taken my innocence
If only I had tried to push him away he wouldn’t have raped my body, my mind, my soul.
Now I sit alone and empty
No-one to love
No-one to listen
No-one to save me
Save me from myself.
My nature is destruction
Destruction of myself and anything good or happy around me I pray for some-one to save me but the only person who can do that is me

Pattern’s repeated through time.
Every morning I wake up
As I lay there I wish I hadn’t
One question bore’s in my thoughts…
How can anyone help me if the only the peace I’ll ever know lies in death?
The death of destroyer or my own.
In a world where death happens all the time it’s always directed at the innocent. A child dies. A child who is innocent. Or a child who was innocent until corrupted by time, circumstance or evil.
The nature of humans is to destroy.
Destroy the world so we can travel. Destroy each other so we can excel. Destroy because we know nothing else. Destroy ourselves so we can finally be free.

Born into shackles and chains of torment and suffering.
Few leave the plain of the living without some shame or deceit pulling us down into the depths of Hell. A Hell we created for ourselves.
We create icons to pass the blame onto.
We created the Devil to blame for the pain, suffering and anger we hold.
We created a God in which to place our hope. Hope for happiness and peace.
The things that are so fragile in life, so complicated to sustain. Yet they are the things that are easy to falsely replicate.

Hope is our main weakness. To place hope in life especially in other people will be the fall of all human kind.
Place hope only in a swift and peaceful death and to be taken to a place where you can be alone, safe and alone to live how you want and to believe what you want.
The destruction of yourself lies only within yourself and what you let into your life.
Solitude is the only sanctuary from the ‘Devils’ work.
After all that has been said why is it I don’t want to be saved?