‘My End’

Have you ever had the feeling that you are alone?
Alone with no one to turn to for help?
Nobody you can trust. Nobody that cares?

Have you ever had the feeling that you are alone?
Alone with no one to turn to for help?
Nobody you can trust. Nobody that cares?
These are the thoughts that go through my mind time and time again. These thoughts hurt, but these thought are apparent in my life.
All alone in my room, sitting in the dark of the night, listening as the clock ticks away.
Tick… Tock… Tick… Tock…
I decide to go for a walk. I don’t know where to or when I will come back. I creep down the stairs missing the sixth stair as it makes a noise when you step on it. I slowly open the living room door and walk out to the back of the house. I put my shoes on and unlock the door. I put one foot out, then the other. Now out I slowly close the door. My heart is beating. I lock the door. Setting off down the road walking with pace. I get to the end of my street. I slow my walking pace. Stopped I think. It’s dark cold winds and thoughts send shivers down my spine. I’m alone but it feels like somebody is there. Again I look around. My heart beating faster and faster. Nothing. No one there. I feel relieved.
I start walking down the road again. I come to a house, number nineteen. I hear screaming. My heart beats faster again. It’s coming from the house. A cold shiver runs down my spine. I look into the window. Relief again. They are watching T.V. I walk on.
Seventeen… Sixteen… Fifteen… Thirteen…
I stop: I smell a foul smell in the air. A smell of something rotting. I look around for answers. I see a bin. Goose pimples engulf my body. Do I look in? Do I not? Not knowing what I will find I look in. on opening the bin what do I find? Meat: Discarded meat from a meal. I feel all tense. Not knowing whether to keep going or run back, back to nothing. I keep going.
Eleven… Nine…
Houses now further apart I pick up speed.
Seven… Five…
I’m nearly there.
Three… One…
I can see my destination. It’s big, proud and firm, it stands like a lion. Adrenalin pumping around my body. This is my end. My future. My feeling of being alone dropping below me. This is my deceit. I climb the railings. I take one last deep breath.
Three… Two… One…