They say whenever a person dies they’re whole life flashes before your eyes. My first love, John, died and I don’t know what he saw but I saw not only him sweat his sweet blood but everything…. From the first time I layed eyes upon him untill the second his limp body ly in my lap. Then people still have the nerve and guts to ask me why I am how I am. If only they could have been there…..
Before I was a goth, I admitt I was ghetto and I know not everyone was goth all of the life they have so far lived. Well I was visiting family down in Fl for 4months so I could get away from all the pain at home. If I had known what I’d see, I may have changed my mind.
My bestfriend at the time, Moni, and I were walking down the stree called Teal Dr. It was a nice day out actually. And by “nice day” I’m talking a happy person’s nice day. But we heard yelling at the end of the street around the corner. Down in a ghetto fighting is a main source of entertainment. So we stood our ground and waited to see who came around the bend. Holding our breath wondering what was going on when we saw Moni’s boyfriend, Vic, and my first of everything, John.
The two had been good friends and to this day I still don’t know what made them fight like that. But both were yelling so loud, each attempting to over power the other. John turned to look at me and mouthed the words “I love you”. He faced Vic for the last time. Vic pulled a gun from his pocket and shot John in the side of his head allowing him to die slowly and feel the pain and wieght of death and what he was going through. Moni and I both screamed and ran toward the two boys in tears trying to make some sense of what had just happend. It seemed to take ages just to run a block down to them. I didn’t even have to think about what to do. Dropping down to John, holding his hand to my chest and telling him of my love for him.
By this time it had begun to turn dark and the street lamp next to us shone down into his tear filled eyes. John’s breathing slowing and him every once in a while twitching from the shock. His face turned a deep red and his pours filled with blood and it gave the impression of sweating blood. I don’t know what but he tried to say something. I made him stop not wanting him to use anymore energy than he had to.
Life stopped just then, and I realized never again would I be abil to hear his voice, See him smile, look into those clear ocean blue eyes….
Dedication To John:
We lay together in the street covered in your own blood. You so beautiful as what light there was shone down into your tear filled eyes knowing what was about to come. I made you swear not to speak. That mouthed “I love you forever etched in my memory. I pryed that I would be abil to re-live my life with you… just once more. Then your hand whent limp, and the pain of reality washed over me. I kissed your forehead fo the last time and never again would I get to see you smile….
-In Loving Memory