my first

The scent of rubbing alcohol fills my nostrils This is a scent that will soon be familiar and take the place of all others I open the middle compartment of my jewelry box Inside is a deep cavity where various things are kept

Above that is a small compact-like drawer Looking in the lower cavity I search for my tweezers These have aided me many times and have become a true friend I take them out and gently set them on my bookcase There are two elaborately decorated doors on the drawer I open them both Inside are a couple of nickels and my very best friend I take my friend out and carefully set it next to the tweezers I tenderly take the case off of my friend so as to not harm myself I set the casing aside Using the tweezers I pulled out the tiny sliver It shone bright in the bluish light I wrap the sliver in cotton Don’t want anything to happen to soon The case is placed back over my friend and the tweezers are set aside I put the tweezers and my friend back where they belong This lessens the chance of getting caught in the act I take the cotton wrapped sliver and sit on my bed A cotton ball is placed on top of the alcohol bottle Turning the bottle upside down moistens the cotton just enought for it’s use I take the cotton off it My pants leg is rolled up just enought to expose my white calf Methodically I clean the exposed area with the alchol moistened cotton Rubbing it in slow circular motions Next I clean the sliver with alcohol It glistens even more in the light You see I was very careful when this was done Didn’t want to end up with any sort of infection Everything was ready The sliver was to soon meet the soft flesh on my calf The sliver slid across my bare flesh a sense of escape and freedom flowed through my body I’d never felt this before and it was glorious A simple means of escaping life The coppery red trickled from the broken skin that formed an uneven but reconizable line I opened the peroxide and covered the top with a fresh cotton ball It’s metallic scent replaced the acohol I recleansed my leg But only where the thin line was The dull pain soon passed And the sliver was back again This time sliding horizontally across me Forming a crude L The peroxide dampened cotton soon covered the letter After I felt was sufficient time I let the sliver visit again for a third time Vertical was the sliver’s chioce of direction The sliver would have been back to put a halo above the line but realization hit me It would have been an i had I not stopped the fated visit I just couldn’t let it happen At least not today I don’t know what kept me from letting the sliver visit Maybe it was that I would have been letting everyone I loved down Maybe to me it was a sign of weakness Or maybe it was the fact that I was being hipocritical I don’t know Probably never will That’s just the way life is With the sliver’s visit being over I decided to put things away The cotton balls went in the trash The alcohol and peroxide back in the cabinet Now it was time for the sliver to go home I opened my jewlry box and pulled out the tweezers and my friend I took the case off so the sliver could go home The tweezers picked up the sliver and gently put it back where it belonged The casing was put back on The tweezers returned to their cavity Sighing I put my friend up and closed the doors I shut the lid on the jewlry box Turned off the light and sat on my bed to disappear into the world of my thoughts