Argh! I dont know what is wrong with me recently. Im feeling meloncholy, frustrated, love sick ect…and all this is coming from someone who is prosaic.
I dont know wether im acting like this because im on the beginning of my menstrual cycle, and it is THAT what is making me feel soo amiable.But, it seems this is all i can think about, my brain wont surpass further than this.
It seems as though everything is piling up on top of one another, which has been breweing up over a period of time to create this one huuuge pile of nothingness.
It all comes down to the fact that i dont have a boyfriend. And with my mother questioning me all the time, and making me feel guilty for not having a boyfriend rots, it crushes my low self-esteem lower.But, it’s not JUST because im not “involved,” so to speak, it’s becoming like an obsession with me and im becoming attached to people to quickly. I have to stop this. But, all the while i feel im screaming on the top of my lungs on a high precipice, forcing these feelings to be obliterated from my mind, my thoughts and my dreams…but no-one looks up, no-one!
Im beginning to think that it’s ME, as a person in general.
I know our all reading this thinking ” this girl wallows in self pity” but, im not..this a true sad case. This is going to sound over used too, it’s probably because of my looks also…and for those who disbelieve then take a LOOK at me, go to: WWW.FACE-PIC.COM/LULLABY_GOTH_PSYCHO
>>I’ll be getting new pics SOON, so if you want to torture yourselves in seeing more of me, feel free to msg me< <
People say im WAY too "fussy," and im searching for the "perfect person" who doesnt exist. Im not. not just going to go out with ANYONE, i want to go out with someone i find intruiging, on the same wave length as me.And on the same note, im not going to kiss a thousand frogs to receive a prince either.After all there isnt exactly an OCEAN of pretty Gothic boys out there or infact ANY gothic boys.
I always seem to take interest in the unattainable, and then once they take an interest in me, i dont like them anymore. Maybe it's the fact that i want what i cant get, until i can have it. And always is it TIME after TIME after TIME again that people who AREN'T my type taking interest in me, and NEVER the ones i like taking interest back. I just cant seem to understand. Maybe im execrated in the "love" dilema.And the fact that i dont believe in S E X probably doesnt help.
My Belief;
>>>> I dont Believe people our age are mature enough to experience those kind of emotions, sexual emotions.People shouldnt experience the Act of Love until they are in love. And i guess i just dont believe people these days are “involved” because they are “in love” they are just in it to make love, which is wrong. I guess that is what i fear, i fear of being deceited. I fear that i will open my heart to someone i “love” and for my love to unrequited after the other has used my body, the body which is a beautiful form, and shouldnt be used, and i will have lost all what i took pride in to some pompous brute. I fear of opening my heart to someone to be rejected, im shy, frigid in that department. I need someone to take control, and help me rise above to the hunger that i feel.
People say “dont go out looking for love, let Love find it’s way to you” that’s a load of cobblers, i have waited for love>It never came< I have gone out searching for love>My love was unrequited< and do you know what? Im sick and tired of it!! My type of guy>>> INTELLIGENCE is the key. Personality is favourable. Sense of humour is vital. Non-agressive( Most definitely) non-alcholic, non-smoker (But those arent a neccessity) non-chauvanistic(VITAL).Someone Caring, Kind, attentive, a gentleman. Definitely a pretty Gothic boy or someone with Gothic tendencies or nu-romantic tendencies. Make-up is always a blessing .Brown eyes. And nice teeth.< <<<<<<<<< Not asking for much, am i?!? †eoples hearts always seem to lie anywhere but with mine† †LOVE LIKE BLOOD† ::::>VIXEN<:::::::::