my perfect suicide

“i stand in my bathroom the sharpest razor in my right hand, and in my left, a red rose grasped tightly in my palm. the thorns pricking my hands.

“i stand in my bathroom the sharpest razor in my right hand, and in my left, a red rose grasped tightly in my palm. the thorns pricking my hands. starign at my reflection in the mirror in disgust. so imperfect. i hate what i see. thoughts of every lost love and broken heart running threw my mind.a single silent tear rolls down my cheek. it will be the last of the thousands ive shed. i rais my right arm and draw the sharp end of the razor to my neck. with one swift motin, i slit my throat. such a beautiful cut. the kind that dosent bleed right away. and you can see inside your skin. then the blood starts to flow. so quickly like a river running. the blood starts to stain the collar of my shirt. i lie myself down in the water filled bathtub. submerging my whold body up to my lips. i watch the clear water turn to a cloudy red. and everythgin begins to fade into black. now i can see myself as if i were floating above. i look down upon my dead lifeless body. the red rose that was held so tightly ’till death, now lies wilted on the floor. small drops of blood in my palms from the thorns. and at that moment i felt truly free. truly happy. nothing could take this feeling away from me. not “him” not “her” not my parents, not my friends, none of your so called gods. no one. bacause now.. im free forever. theres no going back.”

By XAfraidOfLosingX

Hi My Name Is Amanda. Im Rude, Obnoxious, Self-absorbed, and Cold Hearted. i Dont Need Any More Friends.. So Dont Try To Impress Me...


  1. i think i may kinda understand but i’m not sure, feel like explaining or would u prefer me to bugger off now?

  2. If you want my opinion, it’s kinda stupid. No offense or anything, but suicide is such a cowards way out. I was never fond of taking my own life. Although I don’t like the subject, I really like the visual image I got from this piece of work. I’m looking forward to reading more.

  3. well its not that i want do acctualy do the thing i write was acctually a picture i got in my head when i was listening to a song..and i just wrote out my nto suicidal at all..i dont wanna die. there is somthing to live for..i just havent found it yet

  4. That’s a good thing. I apologize, I just worry about people who I can possibly call a friend. I totally understand what you mean by writing down what you see or think. often I see myself die in my mind, but do I dare make my fantasy a reality? no, I don’t think so. What song was it anyways?

  5. no need for apligies. but i was listening to easier by dope. its a good song. and i feel limportan know win this “I just worry about people who I can possibly call a friend” haha like iv said makes me feel all warm n fuzzie inside ^.^

  6. I like dope, not one of my favorites, but I do like dope. I don’t have many friends, so I try to treat everybody as a friend to replace that emptiness. How old are you?

  7. I like everything but i hate everything that moves…i’m so cunfuset i can not tell howe i becam that…help…!

  8. Everything falls in the hole but that is not one time…i can not tell what i want to tell..hope is just the lie..disapiere when i need that..cus i was hopen but not so shore..

  9. Sceary nigthts is like brith ligths…dark faces is like my emotions what flouding in the room..when sond goes down i thinking about that..what goes past ftro me inside…i briking everytime when i see you whit other girl..i want to scream..i want forget emotions and pain..metal gives me strong power when i fall i have that power..i one can’t stop me now,untill i fall all myself down!!!

    Why things can’t go rigth??
    Why everyone try to bring me down??
    Why i ask this questions all the time??
    Why i can’t ignor all arond??
    Why i’m must stay..why can’t go away??

  10. Does no one know how to fucking spell?!?!?!?!?! Jesus fucking christ! PROOF READ PROOF READ PROOF READ!!!!!! Other than your spelling errors, it was good. I enjoyed it. People would enjoy your things more if you would proof them though. Suicide is not always an act of selfishness. It’s a way to get away from shit. If you’ve never thought about it, or felt the feelings, then it’s best not to say anything at all about it. Maybe because you don’t know what its like? Hmm, something to think about!

  11. wow..yeah..kinda rude but ok..i admit my spelling is horrible…did i ever say i NEVER though about it?…i used to..and ive felt alot of feelings..but i delt with em and didnt go for suicide…yeah maybe i dont know what its like for some people but everyone feels diffrently about things..somthign that one person can deal with, coule be the worst thing in the world for another….theres somthign for you to think about….

  12. No no no, I wasn’t talking to you when I said that. I was talking to Nocturnal when I was talking about the suicide thing. Anyone who knows what that shit is like is more than welcome to talk about it. But I believe that if you haven’t ever had the feelings or thought about it then you have no room to speak of what you do not know. Agree? And I know how that is, trust me… So anyway, you’re new to the site? What’s your name? I’m Manda. I’ve been here for about a year and a half now, hehe.

  13. Haha, that’s funny. So where are you from? I’m in Texas. It blows monkey balls here. Tell me about yourself? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.

  14. i live in jersey..and belive me nowhere else can be as boring as this place…hm..not much really to say about me..most of my days are spend either sleeping..playing video games..or online..(wich is where i am most o fthe time) and i liek to go to local band shows..and pretty much thats all ther is to know about me…now tell me about you if ya feel liek it

  15. I’ve been neglecting my comments. All I can say to you is you’re not the only one who feels your fucking pain (Deathawaitsme). I’ve been down that road and I don’t like to be taken serious! Suicide is a way out of shit, but you’re a fucking coward to do it. Don’t you think you’d be stronger to live with the shit you got, and to take things as they come? And what about the friends and family that care about you? Would you honestly be so callous to take your life and let the people you care about deal with the pain you put them through?

  16. My live is so misrible..and say howe can i beet that all emotions in me??Who will caer when i’m not in home,school ore sum place dam!!I’m sick of this shit..

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