Myself

As I sit in my dark room, alone, in front of a computer screen talking to everybody I know and listening to them going on and on about how perfect their lives are. I sit and wonder, ‘whats it like to have a great life? what does happiness feel like?’ I get brace and ask my sister who has called to speak with my mom and she says ‘what are you talking about? your prefectly happy’ i cant do anything but laugh..it shows how little they know about me. I sit alone in my room as usual, this is my life, get up early to go to school, get there and get yelled at all day by teachers and sit alone in corners, get ignored by everyone. I try to talk with people, but guess what they do? just walk away or look at me funny, i get home and go to my room and just sit there and draw or go online, alone, as usual. Sure I have have friends, not many though. They never call or talk to me, they only talk to me when they want quiz answers or have no one else to talk to. No one sees through my fronts, with family and ‘friends’ i act perfectly happy..but when i try to express myself they ask “are you insane? what the hell are you talking about?” but thats ok. I can stay by myself forever. Im 17 years old, and have never even held hands with a guy or talked to someone for more then 10 minutes, but thats ok. being a loner is prefectly fine by me. All I need is myself, although..i feel like Im even slipping away from myself, slipping into insanily. but who really cares? i sure as hell dont. Goodbye world, youll be much happier without me.