Myself

Trapped and locked away

my pain and fears torture me endlessly

how long must I endure,

What have I done to deserve this?

Scarred and past recognition,

Lost among the memories of hate,

I sit here with the living.

Inside I am dead, I am nothing.

Are they staring at me,

or can they see through me

into the black abyss,

into the nothingness that is me?

Unable to escape, I wait

Wait for an end to this pain

an end that won’t come soon enough

one that may never come.

Why am I here, what purpose

have I been put here to serve?

I am here, yet I am not.

I am all that I can be,

yet to them I am still nothing…

All that I do is not enough

it will never be enough.

I’ve stopped trying to please them

I can’t please them,

no matter how hard I try

I am still nothing to them.

This pain inside of me just waiting ,

waiting to swallow me whole.

Death. That’s the only way out,

and I’m wanting out so bad.

Each emotion carved into myself,

tears and blood mix together.

My pain is so clear,

yet they don’t see it’s killing me.

Staring into fate’s face and seeing myself.

My life. My death. Nothing more.

I don’t know why they hate me,

Can’t they see their anger kills me.

Do I belong here? Who am I?

I have no superficial smile,

I don’t fit into a clique-

to them I am an outsider,

but to me, I am Myself