Natalie

The room fell silent as Natalie switched the humming computer off. The screen fell blank and Natalie sighed to herself murmuring “Why do I even bother?” Natalie threw her recently dyed hair from her shoulders to her back.

She hated her hair, it was so thick and sometimes she swore it had a mind of its own. As she picked up the chair she had been sitting on and placed it under the dinning room table where it belonged, Natalie looked around the newly decorated dinning room and took a while to find something familiar to look at. Even though she spent most of her time in this room, Natalie could not focus on anything. To be honest there was only one thing on her mind and that was him. Daniel as he was known. He was all she could think about ever since she met him in that chat room.
Natalie knew she couldn’t go back into a chat room because of what happened last time. The memories were still fresh, as if it all happened yesterday. The look in her parents eyes of sheer disappointment and the tone of their voices when they opened the letter from BT saying that they had a £400 internet bill because she spent so long chatting. But this time would be different she promised herself.

Natalie normally had every Thursday off of college and so she often went online to read, but today was different. Having often read gothic horror stories online Natalie decided to investigate the linking chat room. Not knowing how the other users would take to her she just sat and observed the conversation running up her screen. She spent about 15 minutes doing this until she had the courage to say ‘Hi’.
No one took particular interest in the ‘new girl’ and so no one replied, except one, Delta, as his online name stated. Only did he pay an interest to the new user.

Hours passed like seconds and the day was fast running out but Natalie didn’t want to stop talking to ‘Delta’. He seemed to be everything that she hoped for in a guy. He was caring, honest and respectful but there was something about him that she couldn’t put her finger on, something was not right and this intrigued her more.
Natalie and Delta spent weeks chatting and she soon found out his name was Daniel, that he was 20 and he lived in Manchester. Natalie was cautious about what he told her and kept the thought of a 60 year old man wanting sex in the back of her head to serve as a reminder to her to face reality. But as she chatted to Daniel day after day and soon grew to hold him to his word but yet she refused to let herself trust him.

Natalie had great trust problems in people and got hurt several times mainly by those who she cherished the most, her best friends, boyfriends and family. Natalie had vowed to herself time and time again “ It won’t happen again I won’t let it, I promise” but was the promise enough?
Natalie and Daniel spent hours and hours just chatting online, on the phone and via text messages. Natalie learnt to trust Daniel and respect him. “I can’t let myself get used again I just cant, but he seems different, kinder, he wont hurt me will he?” The same sentence had been going through her head for weeks, ever since she started to feel more for him than just friends.

Natalie was having an exceptionally bad day, the wind was icy and her fingers burned form the cold. She had not had the foresight to wear a pair of gloves although they wouldn’t have done much. Natalie hated this type of weather, as it wasn’t just her fingers that hurt but her arms and legs also. Even through the layers of clothing that she had put on, the wind still stung the scares that she bore.

Natalie routinely cut herself, on her arms mainly but she had recently started on her legs. She spent most of her time, when she wasn’t talking to Daniel, in her room with her knives.
Her favourite was a small one with two dragons engraved into the handle. Each dragon had ruby eyes. The blade itself was so sharp it split an apple in two with ease. This made it easier for Natalie as she didn’t have to press down hard to cut deep. The blade is the shiniest silver as it is regularly cleaned, although when in use the silver turns a dark ruby colour shimmering in the small dim light in her bedroom. Natalie was careful not to spill blood on the floor as she cut herself secretly. No one knew. It was a long painful secret kept between two great friends, Natalie and her knife.
The last time Natalie cut herself was last night after talking to Daniel for hours. When Natalie got off the Internet she went upstairs and locked her door. She went to her bedside table and fought with the draw for a few minutes before impatiently slamming it open. Lying under her books and her drawings Natalie pulled out her knife, wrapped in a black cloth, she placed it on her bed. Natalie knelt up against the side of her bed and slowly unwrapped the cloth to reveal the glimmering blade. Every time Natalie saw the blade a shiver went down her spine, even after this long the shiver was still there. It was just her body acknowledging what was about to happen and Natalie loved it.
Natalie stopped to look at the knife and gathered her thoughts for a few moments and then turned and walked towards her stereo. The stereo was a Christmas present from her parents the year before and Natalie had been so grateful. Natalie opened the CD player and placed in it Marilyn Manson. She let it play loudly in the background. Natalie would have preferred to cut herself in silence but she could not risk her family hearing her moan as she drove the knife into her arm over and over again.
Walking back to her bed Natalie removed her Marilyn Manson hoodie and flung it irrespectively on the floor where it laid lifeless. Having taken off her hoodie Natalie exposed herself in a small strappy Barbie top which clung to her beautifully slim figure. She kneeled down once again at the side of her bed and reached down for the knife. Lifting it slowly up, she sighed as it came down on her arm and her skin split as she dragged the blade from her wrist to the middle of her arm. She moaned as the pain soared through her penetrating right to her core, leaving an ever-lasting mark just like all the others.
Natalie gazed down as her arm as she raised the knife inches above the cut and stared as she watched the blood come rushing out like hot water from a tape.
Natalie loved the sight of her own blood escaping her and lowered the knife once more, but this time she cut across the previous watching as the blood from each cut seeped out and mixed together and slowly darkened and turned cold.
“Shit it dropped on the bed, oh well I will have to blame it on my period again” thought Natalie. Although she did her best to stop any spillages, accidents do happen and this wasn’t the first time either.

Okay guys! i was wondering if you all could tell me what you honestly thought about this. It would help me out a lot. Thanx Dru x